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A Few...; one liners
Topic Started: Jan 18 2005, 04:29 PM (82 Views)
parrrrtay
Member Avatar
Do not follow me, for I am lost...

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
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Liarg
Member Avatar
East of Gilead

You have been doing your research today I see :lol:
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Aurellis
Fugitive From the Fashion Police

Two Blondes walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."
The mushroom says, "What, I'm a fungi?"

A Rabbi and a Priest walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Sorry; I never promised they'd be good... B)
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parrrrtay
Member Avatar
Do not follow me, for I am lost...

I like the Mushroom one, PRETTY GOOD!!! :w00t:

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was "a salted"

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "DAM!!"

EDIT: thought of a couple more
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tsrill
Unregistered

Two cows are standing in a meadow. Says the one to the other "Moo!". The other replies: "You bastard, that was my line!"

-Tsrill
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Aurellis
Fugitive From the Fashion Police

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
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tsrill
Unregistered

What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?
Any dog. A building can't jump.

What's the difference between a moose and an ant?
A moose has antlers, but an ant doesn't have mooselers.

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty?
Are you my mother?

-Tsrill
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Saturnistine
Evil Scientist

Alarms: What an octopus is.
Crick: The sound that a Japanese camera makes.
Dockyard: A physician's garden.
Incongruous: Where bills are passed.
Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.
Oboe: An English tramp.
Pasteurize: Too far to see.
Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose.
Toboggan: Why we go to an auction.
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