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Zepowa's Ju Ju Shop; Second story of The Silver Unicorn
Topic Started: May 12 2004, 10:01 PM (481 Views)
High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

You've browsed through The Silver Unicorn, admiring all of the amazing things that the proprieter there has. On a second look, however, you notice a set of stairs in the back corner, barely visible behind the beaded curtains that cover the door. Curious, you go up the narrow stairs. A large room is at the top with mud walls and a thatched ceiling. A large tiger-skin carpet covers the dusty floorboards, and shelves filled with parafinalia line the walls. You see many things in here: Skulls, mumified hands, lizards in cages, and the like. There are two other rooms leading off from the main room, both with bead curtains covering the portals. One has a sign with a handprint over it. The other has a snake encircling an anhk. Between the doors is a counter, and behind it is a tall woman with pitch-black skin wearing a brown, gold, and black sarong dress and large hoop earrings.

"Welcome to the Zepowa Ju Ju Shop!" she says with a strange accent. "What can I be helpin' you with?"
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Christie
Enchantress

Christie walks in, carrying a large green tree frog in a Goober Grape jar, with holes cut in the lid.

Good to see you again HP Zepowa. I brought you this frog. He has been stuck to the outside of my apartment window for three days now. I thought you might be able to use him. :)

Looks around.....love your shop, very mysterious and interesting.....
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

*Takes tree frog*

Oo, yes, I like very much! You want a palm reading in exchange?

*To EVERYONE*

Here's the deal with palm reading: I can do it for play, or you can send me a high-quality scan of your palm and I can do it for real. Yes, I really can read palms :D. One more thing for MF to be creeped out about :P.

*To CHRISTIE*

Or you can have something from the main store. Or the back...

*Points to the door with the sign with the snake and the anhk.*
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Christie
Enchantress

OOhhhhhhhh-whats in the back again? shivers a little with anticipation....
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

:D

"That's where we keep the fun toys..."

*Pushes back the curtain to reveal a variety of objects hanging from the ceiling, sitting on shelves, lying on the floor. Steve, the shaved, Brazil-nut sized cat is in the center, guarding it all quite fiercely.

"We have NajiNaji sticks, which you may have heard of; Gummi Bear Spectacle Spray, which, once sprayed into the eyes of your enemy makes them think that everyone they see is a giant gummi bear; mini-Ju Ju Sticks, which help to focus curses; all sorts of items to help you put your enemies in place. You ask for it, we'll either have it in back, or we can special order."
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Christie
Enchantress

What I need is a little more specialized than what you have here, and I am almost afraid to ask.....
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Military Force
Wandering Ghost

High Priestess of Zepowa
May 13 2004, 10:13 AM
Here's the deal with palm reading: I can do it for play, or you can send me a high-quality scan of your palm and I can do it for real. Yes, I really can read palms :D. One more thing for MF to be creeped out about :P.

Yeah i'm creeped, am i getting to predictable. Tsu was actually suprised that I’m a conservative. I thot it was pretty freakin obvious.
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

Does this mean you'll vote for me for Craziest Person in the South Pacific? :wub:
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

*Smiles at Christie*

Come on, dear, we all friends here. You need it, I can make it. Ain't no need to be embarassed.
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

While Christie's deciding what she wants to do...

TODAY'S ITEMS! (Idea stolen from Evil Penguin Child, because it's an awesome one! Thanks!)

Main Room

Novelty Voodoo Dolls: Need something to spruce up the living room? Good friend visiting and you need a gift? Want to scare the s*$ out of someone? This is a charming must-have for all ! Comes in your choice of straw or wax, various colors, and accessories including Ju Ju Sticks, grass skirts, and headdresses!

Powa Masks: Strike fear and awe into your party guests' hearts when they walk in and see this on your living room wall! This oblong, tribal mask is the traditional depiction of Powa, the almighty Lord of Zepowa! Comes in black and white, brown and tan, and a variety of sizes!

Back Room

NajiNaji Sticks: These four-inch-long pins are easy and effective curse modules! Just stick them in the thigh of your target, and they will start to dance uncontrolably for ten seconds! Can be specialized to last longer for a total of three minutes, or to specify a dance (options: squaredancing, breakdancing (very amusing for the not-so-flexible target), the Robot, and others).

Gummi Sight Gummi Bears: Just one of these innocent-looking gummi bears cause the consumer to think that everyone they see is a giant gummi bear! Lasts for 30 seconds, can be specially ordered to last longer for a total of three minutes.

As always, we also take special orders and requests!

Palmistry Room

Tip of the Day:

Look at the tips of your fingers (known as the 1st phalange). If you see lines running horizontally across your fingerprints, those are called stress lines. These lines, obviously, denote that you are suffering from a (or several) stressful situation(s). The finger that the lines are located on are a signal to the general category that the stress runs under (example: Stress lines on the ring finger (Apollo finger) means that you're having trouble expressing yourself creatively).

For more tips or a singular palm reading, check back!
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FideiDefensor
Member Avatar
curioser and curioser...

Ooh, I think I've tripled my horizontal count across the Apollo finger today (accursed shakespeare essay). My head hurts.

Could I have some novelty voodoo dolls? I have a cunning plan... I think 20 should suffice. D'you have any in business suits with briefcases?
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

Hm, briefcases and suits...

*ducks under counter, shuffles around, sound of crashing plates and screeching cats ensues, then pops back up with a dusty box. Wipes off dust and opens it up. Looks inside and nods head.*

Yeah, I got the suits, but it'll take me a minute to get the mini briefcases.

*Ten minutes go by with the wavy passage of time effects*

There ya go! Anything else? Pins for the dolls? Mini fedoras?
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Christie
Enchantress

What I want is not a specific Item. I want to learn the mystic art that you practice....be an apprentice, so to speak. What would it cost me to have you teach me.......? :unsure:
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

Ah, now that is an interesting offer... And timely, too!

I think we can discuss payment as we go along; I give a little, you give a little, yes? Since you give first, I give the first lessons:

The source of my great powers is from the almighty Powa, the great Watcher of Oba (voodoo for laymen). Have faith in Powa, and Powa shall have faith in you :D.

If you wish to continue from here, I shall send you private messages with other lessons and minor tasks. Good?
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Christie
Enchantress

Bows her thanks to HP Zepowa, and pulls a small box from her fanny pack, which she hands to the High Priestess....The box contains a one-silver coin, a match, a feather and a sliver of wood. I will await further instructions, and thank you!
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

*Grins*

You will be a very worthwhile student...
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

TODAY'S ITEMS!

Main Room

Head Dresses: Guaranteed to make all heads turn toward you at any party! These genuine leather head dresses are hand-crafted, and can be decorated with any kind of feather, bead, ribbon, or jewel under the sun! Come in and look at our pre-made designs, or set up a special order!

Femurs: Anatomy class got you bored? Spice it up with this colorful addition to the human skeletal system! These genuine human femurs (from already dead, willing donors) are decorated with fine carvings and hung with chicken feathers and hand-made clay beads. Perfect gift for teachers! As always, you can specialize your femur through a special order!

Back Room

Owa Candy: This delightful treat makes the consumer turn different colors! Each color, ranging from Verdent Verde to Positively Purple, lasts for five seconds, and the entire rotation lasts one minute. Can be made with specific colors in mind, or to last longer, up to five minutes.

Idonwanawea Clothes Syrum: This happy little injection makes the victim go into a stupor. During this stupor, they unknowingly remove all their own clothes. After the minute is up, they are completely unaware that they are stark naked for ten minutes. Can be extended to last for fifteen.

As always, we also take special orders and requests!

Palmistry Room

Tip of the Day:

Continuing on the topic of stress, let's look at worry lines:

Worry lines are fine lines that extend from the base of the thumb out into the palm, stopping just before the life line (That long curvy line). If you have lots of worry lines, that means you worry a lot. If you have few, you're not a big worryier. The deeper, more prominent your worry lines are, the more you worry. So, you could have lots of very deep lines, meaning you worry way too much, or you could have lots of fine worry lines with just maybe one or two deep ones, meaning you have moderate worries but there are a couple of issues that are really bugging you, etc.

Worry lines actually can disappear, just like all other lines on the hand. If you take care of the worry, the line will get less deep or go away completely. This can take anywhere from days to weeks. The difference between stress and worry lines is that stress lines signify something truly wrong or agitating in your life, meaning that stress lines, while they can disappear if you take care of the worry, take anywhere from weeks to years to go away
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

Alright, here we go:

TODAY'S ITEMS!

Back room:

Ju Jupowder: Do you have fleas? Cockroaches? Jahova's Witnesses? This is guaranteed to get rid of them all!

Pixie locator: Are you a fantasy afficionado? Or do you just want the perfect gift for your worst enemy? This locator will help you find pixies, some of the trickiest, devilish creatures in the world! *Note: Capture Cases sold separately*

Palmistry Room

Tip of the Day:

Today, we go over the basics:

As most of you know, there are three basic lines on the palm: Head, Heart, and Life. Now, while palmistry does not depend on lines alone, these three lines can say a lot. Today, we'll identify them and talk about distiguishing features:

The Heart line is at the top. On your right hand, it will start on the left side of your palm and run across it (it should reach past the middle. If it doesn't, see me). The Heart line tells you what your passions in a career are, what your future holds as far as traumas are concerned, things like that.

The Head line is the one below (NOTE: Some people have what is called a Simeon line, which means that they don't have a head or heart line, just one long line that goes across. We'll talk about that another day. If you want more now, see me). It starts on the right side of your palm, once again if you're looking at your right hand. This tells how creative you are, whether you have a talent for art or writing, and also whether or not you are close to your family.

And now, the one with the biggest lie attatched to it...the Life line. First off: No, a Life line does NOT tell you how long you will live. NO NO NO. There IS a way to tell how long you'll live, but it is not in the life line. The Life line hugs your thumb and Mount of Venus. It tells you how much energy you have, how much you enjoy life, how often you'll move later in life, and in conjunction with the Head line, how close you are to your family.

(Please do note that this was a very brief overview. I'll go over each line in specific later.)

(ALSO: Yes, I mentioned that I can predict how long you will live. There are stipulations however: It can be innacurate. First of all, it is a rounded number by 5-7 years. Also, the lines I use are formed based on your current health. So, if you're 400 lbs now, I might say you have five years left. If you lose all that weight in three years, then you'll obviously live longer, and the lines will probably change. Also, I could predict that you'll live to 75, but you might get in a car crash tomorrow. If you want me to predict it, PM me. I'll do it with the stipulation that it is mostly for fun and you won't base writing a will off of it.)
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

ANNOUNCEMENT!

As the polls have offically started, I would like to say this:

VOTE FOR ME FOR CRAZIEST PERSON IN THE SP! YAY!

Even if I don't win, however, I will be throwing a BBQ in front of the shop on the 25th, after the winners are announced. Please, stop by! I will be providing the grills and the chickens, Fidei has been kind enough to offer her drink serving capabilities, and you all can feel free to bring whatever you'd like to have grilled up. Also, feel free to bring congratulation gifts for the winners and music to listen to (winks at CR).

I will be in and out all day, and I'll have special gifts for the winners, so I especially encourage them to come! (How can I NOT have gifts, after all? It's me!)

Again: BBQ, here, 25th! Bye for now!
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Benraino
I am a Man. I am not a Man.

can i have 10 Gummi Sight Gummi Bears and 10 NajiNaji Sticks please? ^_^
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

Coming right up!

*Shuffles around on a shelf in the back room. Comes out with a leather bag and a bundle of sticks*

10 Gummi Sights and 10 NajiNajis! 20 cowries, please (or coins, if you prefer). Or we can work out a trade... *grin*
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tsunamy
Member Avatar
Misses Big Picture.

*walks in*

where's the bbq???
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The Rolly-Polly People
Unregistered

lurks in the doorway
Pss...
I'm looking for something...
was told you could help me.
looks cautiously around the room at the other patrons :unsure:
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High Priestess of Zepowa
Unica, High Priestess of Zepowa

*looks around cautiously*

Yes, I can help you. What is it you need?
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The Rolly-Polly People
Unregistered

*Walks into room, still looking at other patrons as if they will jump her at any minute* Hello *makes a clumbsy sort of bow toward shop owner* *whispering* I was told you can do sorts of JuJu spells on all kinds of things...
If that is true...what I need is this.

I am the owner of a very large company that mass produces those little plastic things that go around coke cans. I am looking into transferring into the food buisness, you know like mass producing Frog legs. *stares off into the air with a slight smile on her face* But, unfortunately, my workers have no clue how to make such things. So I was wondering if you would help me out to just give them that knowledge.
In payment, if you like, I would be willing to give you a lifetime supply of my product or........money. I'm sure that always works.
gives Lady Zepowa a small smile
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