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Did you enjoy this poem?
Yes. 7 (70%)
No. 2 (20%)
Do you really feel that way? 1 (10%)
Total Votes: 10
Rate my poem (yes, I wrote it); Read my poem, then discuss.
Topic Started: Mar 15 2004, 01:58 AM (195 Views)
G_Mooshoo23


Paranoid
“Please, don’t leave me alone,” she says to me.
“I understand your fears,” I say to her,
“But they’ll never depart, so I must flee.”
“You understand, I know, but still I’ll stir.”

Yes, I do have pity, since I’m human,
but hers are fears of things that cannot change.

The closet door is open,
bedroom door is closed,
nightlight on,
soothing sounds on,
and rationality is off.

Afraid of a new day, she comes to me again;
Now my pity, once concern, turns to
faith in change. I hope that I don’t refrain
to help in waves that will always go through.

“I understand your fears,” I say aloud,
“But ours are ones of doubt that I’ll allow."
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Hoydonia
Somewhere inbetween, the truth lies.

I like it Mooshoo. :) I can't help but like posted poetry simply for the guts it takes to throw something, usually very personal, out here for close scrutiny.

The most troublesome area was the end. I would work on the last line as it doesn't match the pacing of the others. Good effort. ^_^
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G_Mooshoo23


Unfortunately I can't change the end. The thing is I wrote that poem one night after thinking about how I really am and...well, it works better with the original title of the poem:skitsophrenia.
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cool music


I really like it. you did a good job!
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G_Mooshoo23
Mar 15 2004, 02:27 PM
Unfortunately I can't change the end. The thing is I wrote that poem one night after thinking about how I really am and...well, it works better with the original title of the poem:skitsophrenia.

Hey MooShoo, I want to you to know that I voted "no"...not cause I thought it was bad, but it just didn't do anything for me. Then I read the rest of the thread...you should have kept the original title...it suits the poem much better. If you called it "skitsophrenia" I probably would have voted "yes" :D
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Christie
Enchantress

It is always touching when someone takes a part of themselves and puts it out for everyone to see. Thanks for sharing........

Luv,

Christie
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G_Mooshoo23


I voted "no" as well...even though it's my poem. The fact is I don't know why I do anything anymore and right now I don't think I should have posted that. There are many other things I could post here that would better describe me, why I put that here is beyond me.
Oh, and I'm not afraid of posting anything anywhere. I've been published several times for different poems (ones more angry and depressing than this) and every time I do that my parents joke about making me go to therapy. Sometimes I wish they did, sometimes I wish they'd stop joking and tell me what they really think. Now that I'm on spring break and they're not making me do anything in particular I don't know what I want to do.
I'm sorry that I had to confuse you all.
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G_Mooshoo23
Mar 15 2004, 03:42 PM
about making me go to therapy. Sometimes I wish they did,

You could probably admit yourself....depending on where you live you might not have to pay for it.
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G_Mooshoo23


Eh. It's not that bad. I've got friends who are doing what they can and it seems to work. Sometimes I just need to physically do something to distract me. Right now I'm working on a pine-wood derby car alongside my little brother. I'm glad he's not here right now...he probably would have freaked out to see me sanding my car.
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Yulia
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Can I really only vote once? *highlights the "Yes", and clicks on the "You have already voted on this poll"... Snorts and gives up*

Er, I understand the dilemmas there. Don't, under any circumstance, wish for therapy... A therapist isn't a whole lot of fun, no matter how much they brain-wash you in to thinking it will help. It really, honestly and truly, doesn't. *Hides behind Michu so Hazel can't get her for saying any of this* ^_^

I'm also glad you don't want to admit yourself...Moodswings are understandable. ^_^ I'd post you one of my poems, but I can't yet because I left my stuff at home. :lol: *double checks, looks at the G.W. Bush poem, cracks up and shuts the notebook* I shouldn't bring things like that into a religious state... Er... :mellow: Not meant to offend (because I can see that as a negative remark already) anybody.

I've got a lot to say on this subject, but for my own well-being I'm going to refrain from saying more.
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