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Grimm, Rieper and Associates; Funeral Directors
Topic Started: Feb 13 2004, 09:23 AM (3,473 Views)
Christie
Enchantress

Is this offer set in stone, or are we negotiating. I may be interested in working for your organization, but I cannot live on the premesis. I am trustworthy and can be very discreet........
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Christie
Enchantress

Mearnskirk
Mar 12 2004, 09:26 AM
* The distinguished-seeming gentleman ushers Christie through a door and up a set of stairs to a wood-panelled corridor. Several handsome doors lead off, and he opens one which bears a polished brass plate bearing the legend "Josiah Grimm". He directs Christie to a wood and leather chair in front of a large oak desk, which he sits behind in a comfortably padded leather swivel chair. *

Whilst we would be delighted to help, I must point out that our discrete service is not cheap. We have overheads, and in cases such as this there may be extra administrative expenses, such as provision of a death certificate, and so on. Perhaps your "friend" would be interested in one of our extended payment plans? When do you think this unfortunate accident is most likely to happen, or indeed has the tragedy already occurred?

No, there has been no accident, as of yet. And I , well my friend, does not want a death certificate. As a matter of fact, there can be no paperwork whatsoever. I have never been here or met you....

As my friend is on her own and of limited means, I was hoping that perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement that does not involve currency......

do you have any ideas?
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Mearnskirk
Retired Undertaker

* In Josiah Grimm's office, the distinguished-seeming gentleman leans forward and peers intently at Christie *

I can see that you have ideas, but there are matters of which you are utterly unaware, and believe me, you would find such a payment system somewhat different to what you imagine.

* He stands, walks across to the window, and gazes out for a minute. Then he turns to address Christie *

Perhaps there is something. We do not get much opportunity to deal with people other than the bereaved. Would you be interested in working for us for a period? You would have to live on the premises, and you would be expected to do some household chores in addition to helping with the business.
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Mearnskirk
Retired Undertaker

Living on the premises is optional, but the rationale behind it is that we'd want you to be on 24-hour call, except for when we grant you time off. And don't for a minute imagine I'd be entertaining such an idea if I didn't know you were trustworthy.
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Christie
Enchantress

Saying that I agree to this, how long would the term of service be to pay for the arrangements for my, I mean my friend's "friend"? And exactly what would my duties entail?

Leans forward with anticipation....
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Military Force
Wandering Ghost

*SFC Darvin enters dressed in kakih's*
I am not here to make sure that the interests of my government, and more specifically Praetor are not in danger. Who would this non-existent service be for?
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Mearnskirk
Retired Undertaker

* The distinguished-seeming gentleman frowns at the interruption, then snaps his fingers. SFC Darvin collapses in a heap. *

Perhaps you'd care to explain, young lady?

But to answer your question, I think 3 months would be appropriate. You would have to clean and tidy the premises, run errands, and help with the embalming and make up.
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Military Force
Wandering Ghost

OOC: oh well that was i'll advised.

see ultra-modern news.
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Christie
Enchantress

Mearnskirk
Mar 12 2004, 01:09 PM
* The distinguished-seeming gentleman frowns at the interruption, then snaps his fingers. SFC Darvin collapses in a heap. *

Perhaps you'd care to explain, young lady?

But to answer your question, I think 3 months would be appropriate. You would have to clean and tidy the premises, run errands, and help with the embalming and make up.

I must go talk to ....my friend....and see if this service will be required. And, no, I do not intend to answer any further questions at this time. I am dealing with you because I believe that you can assure confidentiality, and I expect that this will be done. I trust that in future negotiations, you will be able to assure our privacy and insure that we are not interrupted again???
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FideiDefensor
Member Avatar
curioser and curioser...

*Signs contract and shakes hand of new employer*

I can begin immediately, if you wish.
Can I keep the pen?
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Mearnskirk
Retired Undertaker

* In Josiah Grimm's office, the distinguished-seeming gentleman walks round the desk and starts leading Christie towards the door *

Naturally, our discretion is assured. It had not occurred to me that anyone would be foolish enough to interrupt our meeting, but rest assured it will not happen on a future occasion.

* He leads Christie downstairs *

Thankyou for your interest, and I look forward to being of service in the future. I shall bid you good day.

* Christie looks towards the door and when she turns back the distinguished-seeming gentleman is no longer there *
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Mearnskirk
Retired Undertaker

* In Ebeneezer Rieper's office, the distinguished-seeming gentleman shakes the hand of the new employee *

No, I think I'll hang on to the pen, thankyou. You don't really want to take anything from here.

As it happens, there is something you can do. Please can you take the foolish young man lying in my colleague's office outside. I suggest you take him across to the Dew Drop Inn. Thanks, and here's your first day's pay.

* gives Fidei three silver pieces and leads the way to Josiah Grimm's office *
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Christie
Enchantress

Christie shakes her head as though confused, and walks across the way to the Coffeeshop. There is something strange about that place, thats for sure, but I kind of like it. I may have to take them up on that offer...I bet it is an interesting place to work.....
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FideiDefensor
Member Avatar
curioser and curioser...

*Enters the distinguished-seeming colleague's office. Sees the body lying, as dead, on the floor, eyes wide open. Sees no wound and is intrigued as to how he came to this predicament, but with a shiver, realises it would be better not to ask.*

This place IS weird, but the pay's good. And I guess the work is more...interesting than my last.

*Drags body out of the office, carefully avoiding items of furniture. Looks up, as she is going through the door, and notices a tall and distinguished-seeming gentleman at the end of the corridor, who smiles grimly as she passes with the body. He is gone when next she looks up.*

*Takes body into the Dew Drop Inn, places him in a chair and orders him a stiff drink for when he wakes up*
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LadyRebels
Unregistered

*The Queen Walks into the office, and looks around*

"I want to know where my SFC is at right now if you please."
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Mearnskirk
Retired Undertaker

* a distinguished-seeming gentleman appears as if from nowhere *

Good day. If you are looking for the foolish young gentleman in military attire, one of my associates has taken him to the Dew Drop Inn. He felt suddenly faint, and we thought it best to return him to his friends.

If he was here at your request, perhaps you should teach him that it is impolite to enter private office suites uninvited.

* The distinguished-seeming gentleman waves in the general direction of the door leading to the stairway and private offices. The Queen notices that there is a brass plaque next to the door prominently displaying the legend "Private". *
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Military Force
Wandering Ghost

OOC: i was unaware a building lobby was private hence my displeasure.
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Mearnskirk
Retired Undertaker

OOC: Read the thread! We were upstairs in an office with the door closed!
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Military Force
Wandering Ghost

aww screw it. it ain't worth it.
I can't do topic pruning so just bugger it all.
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FideiDefensor
Member Avatar
curioser and curioser...

Well that was exciting to say the least. I reckon I'm gonna enjoy this job, providing I live long enough!
Anymore work?
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Mearnskirk
Retired Undertaker

* a distinguished-seeming gentleman appears as if from nowhere *

Ah, welcome back, Fidei. I understand there was some trouble across the way. Let me see your hands.

* The distinguished-seeming gentleman inspects Fidei's hands. She feels a sudden warmth in her hands and when he stops she looks down and sees that there is now absolutely no sign of the cuts and scratches. *

As it happens, there is another job for you which I'd nearly forgotten. Third casket on the left contains a squatter. Can you evict him please?
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Aurasnathis


from inside the coffin


starts singing aria

(I assume that's not me on the floor. I'm sure I would have known]

The plan worked with the ring though. The thief will die a sour death unless it is returned.
Aptly. Only I have the antidote.
The other ring to unlock ...

Shame about the scarf though ... that was pure Obscretian Wool. Aw well. Twas but a THING.
Sings more loudly.

Creates new song "I Need A Cup Of Tea and only Fudges Coffee Shop does it Good"
An obscure hit from the ninetees. But a classic in it's own right.

Gathers power to blow this farce apart

No Farcing in here though. Too confined a space ...
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FideiDefensor
Member Avatar
curioser and curioser...

*Holds a new but wary respect for her employer and his healing ways*

*Walks over to the casket in question, releases the lock and opens the lid to find a strangely clad, undernourrished traveller. Most notable are the hacked remains of a scarf, tied around the man's wrist. Frowns, sighs and pokes Aurasnathis, who murmers and turns on his side, but refuses to wake.*

Maybe I should ask for health insurance, what with death threats and all this heavy lifting, I'll be dead next week. Do employees recieve free funerals?

*Lifts the sleeping body from the casket and carries him outside. Places him gently on a nearby bench and slips a packet of Gummi Bears into his left pocket.*
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Aurasnathis


The murmers were mutterings of thanks, Fidei.
Mr Reiper is colder than any box I've been in... the ring he "borrowed" from me will make him weaker still. I know his trade is death.
Luckily I have a furry Badger ... his name is George ... tho he pronounces it Ralph.

Ralph says HU!

He hasn't yet mastered the vowels yet, but he's working on them.
Much like Mr Reiper ...

TY for my release, however
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Aurasnathis


now I can go for a cuppa tea!
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