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Meanwhile in Freibergen...; A story of greed and real estate
Topic Started: Jan 17 2005, 05:17 AM (286 Views)
Freibergen
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Texas Commander
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'"... Interested parties to contact the Pax Heartlandia finance department",' President Bill read from a newspaper that had been brough to him a few minutes ago by his finance secretary, Buck J. Dullard. 'You think this is for us, then?'

Dullard, a meek little man in a sleep-inducing grey suit, nodded at his president. 'Yes Mr. President,' he said. 'Pax Heartlandia occupies a prime stretch of land, situated most favourably on the coast of Texas. I really think this is a great opportunity.'

Having read about the financial troubles of Pax Heartlandia in the Financial Freiberger, Dullard had looked up today's edition of the Pax Heartladia Herald and had read the nation for sale small ad on one of the Herald's last pages. He had gone to see President Bill immediately. Unfortunately, the leader of Freibergen didn't seem very quick on the uptake that day. Probably the monday morning thing, Dullard thought.

President Bill scratched his head thoughtfully. 'You sure we can afford this?'

'The economy has been booming of late, Mr. President. The people are spending like there's no tomorrow; the Freibuck virtually grows on trees. A small tax increase coupled to our considerable reserves...'

'No tax increases, Mr. Dullard,' Bill said sternly. 'The people don't like them. And what the people don't like, I don't like.'

'I realise this, Mr. President, but right now the people aren't paying taxes at all. The economy will overload if this goes on much longer. Many people are buying fourth cars these days, they just don't know what to do with their money.'

'Ok, but what about logistics? You don't move a country just like that!' Bill exclaimed.

'We've done it before,' Dullard said. 'Remember, when we moved from the Pacific to Texas?'

'We were a small country back then. We've grown in size since.'

'Think of it as a major opportunity for the helicopter industry,' Dullard said.

'Right,' Bill replied. 'Well. If you think this can be done, get working on it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get in touch with my stockbroker.'
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Freibergen
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Texas Commander
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The next morning, in the office of President Bill...

The president stifled a yawn and sat down behind his desk. He had been called out of his bed by Dullard, who had claimed to have an important news update. Bill rubbed his eyes and looked at the other man. Not for the first time he noticed how boring Dullard actually looked. His haircut was boring, his glasses were particularly boring, his suit, shirt and tie were boring, and his shoes were nothing to write home about either. He seemed to radiate boredom, and many people acutely fell asleep in his presence. Oddly enough Dullard never noticed any of this. In fact, he was an energetic man, and to many people he seemed to feed off he caused the people around him. At any rate he had never been known to go home in the evenings; even on holidays he stayed at work to do the accounting.

'Well, let's have it,' Bill said with a sigh. 'Did we go bankrupt on that deal? Was it turned around on us? Tell me.'

'Actually, no,' Dullard replied. 'They flat out denied their financial trouble and hung up on us.'

'So, what, the newspapers were wrong? Now that's newsworthy,' President Bill replied with a chuckle.

'If we could stick to the subject, Mr. President...'

'Yeah, yeah. But I don't see how there's still a subject left; they denied everything, didn't they?'

'Well, they would,' Dullard replied with a knowing smile, 'However I'm not convinced they're telling us the truth.'

'Ok, so what do you want to do next?'

'I'd like your permission to start an intelligence gathering mission.'

'Gathering intelligence? In Pax Heartlandia? You're joking.'

'I meant...' Dullard tried.

'Yes, I know what you meant,' Bill answered, 'And if it makes you happy, we'll send a spy. I'll call with defense to see whether he's free.'
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Freibergen
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His name: Jim Shackle. His mission: to infiltrate the government offices of Pax Heartlandia, in search of clues to the nation's fiscal health. His plan: outrageously simple. Posing as a simple sweeper in search of a job, he had actually offered to pay money for getting hired. Needless to say, he got the job right away. And so it was, that secret agent 1 of the Freibergen Intelligence Agency found himself sweeping the office of none other than King Perivale Bucket II himself.

Shackle seated himself behind the king's desk. He put aside a stack of bills and tax assessments, and set himself to reading an innocent looking report on the state of the national pencil sharpener industry. From his vast experience as a spy, Shackle knew that the interesting things could always be found in uninteresting places. Then he picked up his broom, screwed off the top of the stick, and started making photographs with the miniature camere inside. Shackle smiled. President Bill would be satisfied.

~

The latter, however, was more interested in something his finance secretary had pointed his attention to. On the presidential desk were lying two newspapers. Bill was staring at them in disbelief.

'It is in both the Financial Freiberger as the Freiberger Financial, Mr. President,' Dullard was declaring with an air of confidence. 'So it must be true.'

The Financial Freiberger and the Freiberger Financial, as the names would indicate, were Freibergen's leading financial newspapers. Since their first editions, both newspapers had been locked in cutthroat competition for market dominance. As a result, both newspapers always published different stories, in the hopes of attacting the other paper's readers. But now, when both newspapers reported the same news without a single discrepancy, Bill and Dullard were convinced that Pax Heartlandia was indeed in dire straits.

'Any news from Intelligence?' Dullard asked.

As if on cue, the fax machine started printing. Bill tore off the fax and started reading. Then he handed the fax to Dullard.

'Well, this confirms it,' Bill said. 'The Pax Heartlandia pencil sharpener industry have offered to settle the nation's debts in exchange for 51% of the shares.'

'We must act immediately!' Dullard said, excitedly putting down the fax. 'Before it's too late!'
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