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| HotRodia Nightly News; Evening Edition | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 30 2004, 07:44 PM (218 Views) | |
| HotRodia | Jun 30 2004, 07:44 PM Post #1 |
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Texas Statesman
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This is a presentation of: HotRodia Nightly News Lead Story: Howdy! I'm John Wayne and this is the evening news. Yesterday we witnessed a historic event, the consolidation of three nations into one empire. We of course have followed the story through and our star reporter Marissa Chong even managed to get an impromptu interview with the famous Minister of Hospitality. Marissa? That's right, and to take my top off...uh...I mean top it all off, it was an exclusive interview only given to HRNN. Let's take a look at the video and see what Sam I Am had to say. -Begin Video- [Setting: Ms. Chong is seated in a comfortable chair in a well lit room in the Ministers office complex. The Minister of Hospitality is seated directly across from her in a similar chair.] Sam: Well, Ms. Chong, shall we get down to business? Marissa: Of course. Something many of us are concerned about is the effect the consolidation might have on national sovereignty. Could you respond to those concerns? Sam: Certainly. The agreement we have worked out is one that holds strictly to the tenet of national sovereignty. Noone will be changing their flag, or national animal, or motto, or their government style unless they want to. The terms of the agreement only require that nations allow free travel between our states, recognize eachother's currency as legal tender, and help eachother in case of an attack on them by another state. Marissa: Will the document of the agreement be available for public inspection? Sam: Absolutely. Copies will be available in about a week through any government office, and the originals will be on permanent display in each of our three nations' capitals. Marissa: Do you have plans for an official celebration to mark the occasion? Sam: Well, I suppose I might as well let the car off the line. I'll be declaring this day of the year United Peeps Day, a national holiday to celebrate unity in general and this occasion in particular. Marissa: There have been rumors that you were contacted by the President of Texas shortly after your announcement. Sam: Oddly enough, that rumor is correct. Big Tex offered his congratulations and gave me the idea for United Peeps Day. Marissa: I have to say I appreciate your candor, sir. Those are all the questions I have for now. Sam: Good. I appreciate you doing this on such short notice, Ms. Chong. Marissa: Well sir, I do try to stay on top of you...uh...I mean on top of things. Sam: Err...I suppose. I'll see you at the celebrations. Goodbye. -End Video- Wasn't that a great interview John? I like the Minister of Hospitality's style because the way he speaks it's very easy to get the thrust of things. Back to you in the studio. Thanks, Marissa. That was indeed a hard-hitting interview. Now let's take a look at the weather with Tom Tornado. Weather: Thanks, John. Today in HotRodia City there is not a cloud in the sky, but that may change tomorrow when two large fronts collide over HotRodia. We have a 60% chance of rain tomorrow, with severe thunderstorms likely over much of the four district area. The highs tomorrow will be around 90, and the relative humidity will probably top 100%. It's going to be a muggy winter day, folks. Back to you, John. Local Story: Thanks, Tom. Our next story is about a man with a dream. Or rather lots of dreams. Gilbert Lawrence has just released his first invention onto the market, a device that is gauranteed to end insomnia within minutes of application. He claims to have gotten the inspiration for the product from his wife. Apparently, she had a trick to get him to sleep that worked every time. She would read aloud from pump manuals. I can only imagine how fast that would put me to sleep. Mr. Lawrence has now created an entire library of books to aid our sleep-deprived citizens that is available in all the local bookstores. Happy dreaming. I'm John Wayne and this is the Evening Edition on HRNN. Stay tuned for The Nerd Show, where you will see exciting analyses of the latest treatise on the limitations of axiomatic systems. |
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| HotRodia | Jul 5 2004, 02:37 PM Post #2 |
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Texas Statesman
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This is a presentation of: HotRodia Nightly News Lead Story: Howdy! I'm John Wayne and tonight we bring you a special report on an issue of national significance. Enforced celibacy among media personalities is currently a heavily debated subject in HotRodia. Tonight, I will be discussing this issue with two experts on the subject, Combustian High Priestess Virginia Knott, and media mogul Ronald Bump. Let's start with Mr. Bump. "Good evening, John." "Good evening Mr. Bump, thanks for taking time out to come on the show." "You're welcome John, I'm glad to do it. This is an important issue to me." "It's very important to me too, sir." "Yes, I imagine it is." "So could you explain to the viewers the arguments you use to support your pro-celibacy position, sir?" "Of course. The benefit of celibacy among media personalities is two-fold. First, the individual does not have a family and therefore has more time to devote to his/her job. Secondly, celibacy aids in having an unbiased media by ensuring that there are no personal connections to get in the way of even-handed reporting." "Thank you, Mr. Bump, that was very concise and to the point. Now let's hear from High Priestess Knott." "Hello, John. How are you?" "I'm fine Virginia, how are you?" "I'm glad to be here, John." "Good to hear it. Would you like to present the arguments against enforced celibacy among media personalities?" "Certainly, John. First off I would like to say that I have more of a problem with the "enforced" nature of the celibacy rather than the celibacy itself. Mr. Bump mentioned that celibacy allows more time to be spent at one's work instead of taking care of a family, and he is quite correct in that. A long time ago Combustian Priestesses were required to be celibate for that reason. Unfortunately, we eventually found that celibacy also created some problems. One was that long-term abstinence from sex has a tendency to cause frustration and low self-esteem. Fortunately, with the appropriate training and screening procedures, those problems can be dealt with. The more pernicious problem with enforced celibacy is that it limits a person's freedom. This is why currently in the Combustian religion, celibacy is not a requirement. We allow those who feel called to be celibate to do so, and we allow those who feel called to have families to do so." "Well, that's all the time we have for today, I'd like to thank Virginia and Mr. Bump for coming on tonight, and I'll see you folks tomorrow at the HotRodian Media Summit where we will discuss and decide this issue. Good night, everyone." |
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12:46 AM Jul 13