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| June 26, 2003; Lone Star 2 Message | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 26 2003, 07:42 PM (347 Views) | |
| NewTexas | Jun 26 2003, 07:42 PM Post #1 |
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Governor
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***********For Immediate Release*********** This is Daisy Belle Flores from the NewTexas Network News (NNN): Today we are here in the sunny southern region of Texas at the nation of Rabanito, home of the benevolent dictator Don Porfirio to check on the new airstrip for Lone Star 2, the second Texas Space Shuttle. DBF: "Hola Texans y Tejanos! We are here in Rabanito to talk to Don Porfirio, but he appears to be extremely busy at the moment. This nation is a flurry of activity today! We have never seen so many workers and so much construction going on in one place in a long time. There is earth being moved, concrete being mixed, barracks and command posts being constructed, state-of-the-art communications networks being laid and other projects that we cannot even guess what it is all for! It is like a giant colony of fire ants building a new nest. What we do know is that construction has begun on the airstrip where Lone Star 2 will take off and land. The runway looks like it will be several miles long for landing purposes and it appears that tons and tons of steel are being trucked in to build the launch pad. This will ultimately be the center of all attention when the big day comes for the first launch of this mighty shuttle. Old time citizens may remember the launch of Lone Star 1. It was a magnificent affair. The rockets that propelled the space shuttle into the outer atmosphere were powered by two unique Texas-grown types of fuel and lit magnificently by a huge ancient red dragon from The Fiefdom of Viviana. Dame Viviana du Lac has already agreed to make the dragons available for this launch as well. We hope the construction workers take care to make sure all the steel is tempered to withstand a serious blast of heat when this bad boy takes off! It is currently unknown what the alternative fuel or fuels will be used to power this shuttle, but we are sure someone in the region is working on something creative. We did get word from a representative of Don Porfirio who quoted the dictator's famous saying, "Always serving and searching development in my country and my region." That certainly seems to sum up what is happening in Rabanito today! We will remain here until the airstrip is complete. We await further reports from Don Porfirio himself on the status of the project or notification of completion of the project. Things look very much under control here! This is Daisy Belle Flores signing off from Rabanito, we now go to Billy Joe Jim Bob somewhere in Texas." BJJBob: "Thank you Daisy Belle, we are here in what can only be described as Middle of Nowhere Texas! It is a quadruply sad day in Texas as there have been major losses on many fronts. Just as Big Tex predicted, The People's Republic of Toot has ceased to exist yesterday and there are literally millions of mourning canaries flying around everywhere crying little canary tears. It is like clouds of yellow raining on a big barren wasteland of dirt where the proud republic once stood. This reporter has never seen anything like it. No one has the heart to take the sloth away, so he is being fed copious quantities of grapes and an artificial tree has been erected to provide it some shade and some much needed rest. In a seemingly unrelated event, The Republic of Fairy People has also disappeared in a big blue ball of unknown something. Another great loss is The Republic of MozartBee as well as all the NewTexas forces of Colonel Ima Goner, who, true to his name, is a goner. The disappearance of this entire nation, all its 500 million citizens is truly a mystery. MozartBee's motto said, "Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power", we can only hope that MozartBee and all their humble bumblebees are happy wherever they may be. We would get a word from Big Tex, but he is reportedly in mourning over the loss of his cousin Ima Goner as well as the nations who have also disappeared. Big Tex sends word that there is a pattern forming and that four out of the last five ex-nations had something in common. We are going to see if we can get a hold of Colonel Harley Hongos on the sat-comm - Hello, Hello, Colonel Hongos?" Col. Hongos: "At ease reporter. What do you need to know?" BJJBob: "Big Tex said that there appears to be a 'pattern' can you comment on that?" Col. Hongos: "Um, no, Billy Joe. Big Tex has not shared that with us either. If any of your viewers figure it out, tell them to clue us in. We are now sending our motorcycle squad to The Dominion of Female Dominance and advanced reconnaissance is being set up around The Allied States of Torrea as they are a UN Member and are very important to the health and welfare of Texas as was Toot." BJJBob: "Big Tex always says that any nation lost is a sad thing, but the loss of a UN Member is catastrophic as it undermines the political power of the region. Do you agree with that Colonel?" Col. Hongos: "Absolutely Jim Bob! After the loss of Colonel Goner, Big Tex is not letting us go to targeted nations personally. So, we are going to stay back and observe from afar and manage the NewTexas Spy Brigade to try and ascertain the plot against Texas." BJJBob: "Thank you for the information Colonel, we are sure our viewers will be glad to know that you are on top of this most distressing situation! We have to sign off now, but will be reporting as events develop. This is Billy Joe Jim Bob signing off for Daisy Belle Flores and NNN." <Editors Note: The NNN has been posting transcripts of its broadcasts in the Texas offsite Forum in case nations miss the breaking news> |
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6:56 PM Jul 10