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June 20, 2003; Lone Star 2 Message
Topic Started: Jun 20 2003, 09:23 PM (228 Views)
NewTexas
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***********For Immediate Release***********

This is Daisy Belle Flores again from the NewTexas Network News (NNN):

Today we are here at NewTexasBeanCounters, Inc. (NBC) to interview Dilbert McDork about the recent out-pouring of support for the Texas Space Program.

DBF: "Dilbert, what can you tell us about the recent donations?"
DMcD: "Thank you Daisy Belle, coincidentally, we were just talking to Big Tex about that. He is quite thrilled with all the nations of this fine region contributing their support. We, here at NBC, have been tabulating the donations and can report that we now have:
  • $1.2 billion (Dollars) from FredII
  • $950 Million (Reich Marks) from German Reich
  • $19.260250 billion (Twees) from Tweety
  • $5 million (Lirum) from Illithi
All these funds have been received, processed and secured. Big Tex has personally covered all the expenses for the transfers and exchanges. With all this money, Texas certainly has a sizeable bank account to build a world-class airstrip! The question now is which nation will host this airstrip? The Dominion of Airstrip 1 ceases to exist and is no longer a viable option. Big Tex reports he is looking for a nation in which to build the new airstrip, cost-free, thanks to the generosity of the citizens of Texas."

DBF: "What about the military gains?"
DMcD: "Of course NBC is keeping track of that as well. We here at NewTexasBeanCounters count absolutely everything; our motto is 'If it can be counted, we will count it'. So far, for defense of both shuttles, we have:
  • 250,000 combat trained regular army units from FredII
  • Multiple Thirsty Fire Breathing Dragons from Viviana
  • 1st and 5th Fallschirmjaeger Regiments and the 8th Panzer Division from German Reich
  • The Elite Special Forces of the Red Dragon Brigade and 3 divisions of combat trained regular army troops from Romeduece
  • 1.5 Million Armed BirdyGuards from Tweety
  • 250 Flaming Platypi, 200 Nevahl paratroopers with 12 airships and 5,000 miscellaneous troops from Illithi
This is quite a force for the defense of two Space Shuttles, however, with their future mission of deploying the NewAlamo, the Texas Space Station and its armament of the Texas Star Wars Missile Defense System, as Big Tex always says, we can never be too safe or too secure."

DBF: "Is there anything else you are counting?"
DMcD: "Of course, we are always accounting! Sorry, that was a little industry joke. In addition to all the aforementioned items, we have moral support and generous offers of 'whatever is needed' by the following nations:
  • Boomba, Walnut Springs and Lacey Lakeview
And two other nations are providing much needed services as well:
  • Personal Endeavor is the Official Taco Provider to the Texas Space Program
  • Tweety is providing various scientists and engineers
As far as our bean counters can tell, that is what we have collected so far, not counting NewTexas forces. As always, if we have missed anything, do not hesitate to point it out to us, it will not be the first or last time that happens."

DBF: "Thank you Dilbert McDork of NewTexasBeanCounters, Inc., we now cut to Billy Joe Jim Bob who is standing by with Big Tex at the Corporate Headquarters of NewTexas"

BJJBob: "Thank you Daisy Belle, you're looking as fine as a flower as usual! We are here with Big Tex at the Capitol. Big Tex, have you found out anything about what happened in The Dominion of Airstrip 1?"
Big Tex: "Well, Billy Joe Jim Bob, it is nice to see you in one piece, last we heard you were a goner! As you are probably aware, we still have no news on what exactly happened in The Dominion, but whatever it was happened in Draconium and Ches Nessad before our forces could even arrive to step in. Our Field Commander, Colonel Harley Hongos, reported that upon arrival at the set coordinates, nothing remained of either nation, just miles and miles of dirt. It seems that your report of, how did you say it, "electro-magical-impulse sumptin" was partially right. Whoever or whatever is doing this is detonating an intense electromagnetic pulse weapon completely disabling all electrical devices in a nation and then somehow manages to erase all signs of the target nation from the Great Region of Texas! On a tip, we sent additional troops to The People's Republic of The Big Three and to The Republic of Will Clark only to find more dirt. We now have forces racing toward The Republic of Sunndi. We only hope we are not too late!"

BJJBob: "Is there anything you can add about these perpetrators?"
Big Tex: "Billy Joe, you know we have eyes everywhere, but we just can't go spilling the beans here on national TV. Hey, by the way, have you seen the eyes on that Lord Xenu dude? Creepy! Gotta run Jim Bob, people and nations to keep under surveillance and all that!"

BJJBob: "Well, there you have it, Big Tex is trying to get things under control in Texas with the great influx of new nations and the even greater out flux. We are sure that the mystery of the disappearing nations is far from over and Daisy Belle will keep you up to date on the Texas Space Program. This is Billy Joe Jim Bob signing off for Daisy Belle Flores and NNN."

(Editors note: the NNN has begun posting transcripts of its broadcasts in the Texas offsite Forum in case nations miss the breaking news)
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