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| June 19, 2003; Lone Star 2 Message | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 19 2003, 07:58 PM (294 Views) | |
| NewTexas | Jun 19 2003, 07:58 PM Post #1 |
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Governor
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***********For Immediate Release*********** This is Daisy Belle Flores from the NewTexas Network News (NNN): The NNN crew just returned from covering the loading of Lone Star 2 on the flatbed for transport to airfield at The Dominion of Airstrip 1 when two events happened within minutes of each other. First off, in an NNN exclusive, we are sad to report that there has been a totally destructive coup in The Dominion of Airstrip 1. By all accounts, both the government forces as well as the insurrectionists are completely destroyed. It is unknown if weapons of mass destruction were used. The last report we had from our on the scene reporter, Billy Joe Jim Bob, was that there was some talk about something BJJBob could only say "sounded like electro-magical-impulse or sumptin" and then all our communications from the area ceased. In the subsequent hour, we have been unable to obtain any information from that region of Texas. It is belief that the Dominion has ceased to exist. As Big Tex was receiving reports on the situation in Airstrip 1, multiple crews of enormous cranes were lifting Lone Star 2 on to what can only be described as a Monster Flatbed. As a matter of fact, "Flatzilla" was emblazoned on the hood, both the doors, down the sides, well you get the picture... It seems that when the full weight of the Texas Space Shuttle was placed on the vehicle, it creaked, groaned, blew out all 36 tires and collapsed into a pile of rubble. The shuttle appears unharmed and the cranes are at work again to return it to its construction hangar. It is unknown by this reporter if the events at The Dominion of Airstrip 1 and the hangar are related. We will keep you posted. This reporter barely had a chance to ask Big Tex a question before he stormed off obviously upset with the days events. We asked, "Big Tex, what is going through your mind?" Big Tex grimaced and said, "We are going to find out what the heck is going on here! Never seen no ding-dang truck do that before! What's next? We are receiving rumors from around the region that Airstrip 1 may have just been the tip of the iceberg. Informants are talking about 3 maybe 4 nations or even 5 nations currently acting very funny by our standards! We are going to be sending recon troops out immediately to Ches Nessad and Draconium to lend whatever support we can. For security purposes, we will not be revealing the other nations. Besiding all that, we are now short one airstrip for our brand spankin' new Space Shuttle and we haven't heard from any nations about providing any goods or services for our new program! We are going to have an enormous army defending this Shuttle and are looking for military support to go to The Free Land of Free Vodka to defend that Shuttle (they are pretty poor over there even with a 92% tax rate, you know). This is a call to muster to the citizens of Texas; we need stuff for this space program! Most immediately, we need security for the Shuttles and a new airstrip for Lone Star 2. Whew, we don't know how you do it Daisy Belle, but you sure get us talkin'!" This reporter can only say amen to that. Big Tex was seen hurrying off to consult with his advisors. NNN will keep you posted as events develop. |
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6:56 PM Jul 10