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Why some of us are still single?; Expectations far too high.
Topic Started: Feb 1 2008, 05:39 PM (609 Views)
Minuet
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Fleet Admiral Assistant wRench, Chief Supper Officer
No - it's not true for most.
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rowskid86
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Suck my Spock
Most guys I know. and most guys others know. ok maybe Majority should have been used. And since you are not a guy, it'd hard for you to know if it's most or few.
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Minuet
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No - I am not a guy. But I am an adult woman who dated a lot of guys when I was younger. And I didn't marry a guy who just settled for me because I agreed to date him. And hopefully my daughters will have enough self esteem to understand that too.

But it's not about making lists either.

When you meet the right person you will understand the chemistry that occurs. I can't explain it, I just knew it with my husband and he knew it with me. No lists, but not just accepting someone because they are there. It's much deeper then either of those superficialities.
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Dandandat
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Time to put something here
Minuet
Feb 2 2008, 12:41 AM
Dandandat
Feb 1 2008, 07:00 PM
Data's Cat's Sister
Feb 1 2008, 05:39 PM
What got me was not so much the items on the list as the frequency they were expressed. I know the article is titled 'perfect' but really it just seems so extreme. I dread to think what the equivilant list for women is like! I don't think I could live up to it!

Its quite simple really, and an obvious difference between men and woman.

Most men will like/love whom ever it is that likes/loves them back. The only other thing for men could be looks, but that’s not always a give.

Men don’t make lists of the prefect girl and then try to find her. If a woman shows interest in a man that’s all they need.

:no:

I know enough single males to know this isn't true.

Really? I would have see it to believe it. Perhaps the culture is different in Canada.
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Dandandat
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Time to put something here
Minuet
Feb 4 2008, 11:17 PM
No - it's not true for most.

Im sorry but, yes it is.
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Minuet
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In answering so many comments I think my view may have gotten muddled.

There are those who make lists. They come in both sexes. But they are in the minority. They make up a certain percentage of those who remain single, and rarely get married because they are too picky.

They do not comprise all singles by a longshot.

However, neither men nor women just settle for a person who agrees to date them. They don't have a list. There is something else, something undefinable. In Hebrew there is a word for it. It is "besheret". When you find your besheret you have found your soulmate. We see it as something predetermined by G-d. But even for those who don't believe in G-d I think the concept is understandable. There is someone out there who is just right. If I ever did have a list I could guarantee my hubby would not fit most of what I would ask for. But we just blend together well. That is besheret.
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