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| New Semester, New Year, New Life, New Self | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 8 2008, 12:05 PM (185 Views) | |
| Bug | Jan 8 2008, 12:05 PM Post #1 |
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Supernatural = Hotnatural
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As many of you know I've had a long past couple of years with a couple of major problems I've had to work through. I'm not completely recovered but I'm putting my foot down and 2008 is going to be a different year. There will be no more procrastination, no more forgetfulness, no more doing things I'm not, and no more reliving the past and kicking myself over things I cannot change. This is my heartfelt commitment to yunz here as well as to myself to continue down the path of changes that has been set before me. It's way past the due date for me to learn how to manage my time wisely. I'm a 22-year-old junior in college, and you would think I would have learned that by now but I have not. Some of you have known me since I joined StarTrek.com as a sophomore in high school, and others not as long. I have been a part of Sistertrek off and on, and some of you have willingly listened to my ramblings no matter how repetative they may have been. But that's it...no more ramblings, no more stupid decisions about men, no more letting myself down or my family down. This is my 2008 promise...not a resolution, but a promise. It's time I start acting like an adult and not whine about not being married like the rest of campus or trying to accomplish something which I cannot. I'm going to learn my limits and learn what I really can do. Time for better grades and allotting more homework time. I'm going to make a point to get to know people better rather than sit by myself during meals. Write more letters rather than emails. Send more packages rather than just plain old money. Be more self-less rather than self-centered. I'm not a kid anymore... ...though one thing that will not change is my love for Star Trek
(Had to throw that in there).Well, those are my thoughts for today. |
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| Data's Cat's Sister | Jan 8 2008, 02:05 PM Post #2 |
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Commodore
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Hey Bug. You know you remind me of myself so much sometimes it is crazy! I hope you take this honest advice in the spirit in which it is intended and not as me trying to knock you down or be overly critical.I think that what you are doing here is very important. You have identified lots of ways in which you are disatisfied with your life and how you could make it better. I can't help but think that you are being way to hard on yourself though and that you will ultimately dissapointed when you find you cannot deliver on your 'promise'. I say this because it seems like you have isolated every single flaw in your personality and are going to attack them all at once. I think you are ultimately going to fail firstly because you are taking so much at once and secondly because you are only human baby! If you eliminated every single one of your character flaws it would be a miracle. You do say that you want to stop trying to achieve things that you cannot possibly accomplish. I also think that some of the behaviours you have identified as not being 'adult' are not particularly 'child like' either. I know plenty of adults who are disorganised, who don't manage their time well, or who are forgetfull - one of them is me, I'm two out of those three! Yet I'm doing well in my life so far. In the year since I've been away from Sistertrek I've managed to have my heart broken and have my vision of the future for myself shattered and yet I've managed to graduate with a good degree, get a great job and start renting my own place. Not a bad turn around for someone who is forgetfull and terrible at time management. On that note, from what I know of you from your behaviour on Sistertrek there is nothing that has ever led my to suspect that you are any thing less then a sensible, mature grown up type person. When I was your age (sorry to sound like the wise old sage when I'm only two years older :lol: ) I believed that there would be this phase when I would suddenly feel 'grown up.' You think that all the 'adults' around you are so much more mature and worldy wise. I had a couple of incidents that made me realise that the people around me were no more mature, together or wise then I was (many were less :lol: ) and that there would never be this day where I felt mature or grown up. It just never happens. I also do not believe that you are perticularly selfish. There is that horrible yet very wise Micheal Jackson song 'I'm starting with the man in the mirror'. I truely believe that one of the best ways to be selfless and to help change the world is to look after yourself. If this means focusing on yourself a lot - so be it. I'm not saying that you should abandone the whole changing yourself project and I think you have a lot to gain by striving to change. However I believe that you have to be more realistic, more forgiving of yourself and only focus on a few things or maybe even just one thing. Being more social is one that would make very positive changes for you - perhaps you can focus on that one. I made a few New Years Resolutions this year, but primarly they all revolved around enabling me to be more social, even the financial one. I also don't think you should berate yourself for feeling bad because you don't have a partner. We live in a world where much of the population expects us to 'sow our wild outs' and live like crazy party animals until we are 30. Some see marriage and what comes with it as something that shouldn't belong to your twenties. I've recently had a horrible arguement with a friend who described my ambition to get married and have kids before my 30s as a 'waste'. I don't think that reflects reality and it certainly doesn't reflect my feelings. I believe in my biological clock and mine is ticking and telling me to settle down and have children; not being able to do so at this time has left a deep sadness in me that I struggle to overcome daily to the point where it is occasionally overwhelming. It is impossible not feel jealous of those who have settled down in those circumstances and you shouldn't feel guilty for having that desire to settle down. I agree with you however that moaning and moping about it doesn't help and I'm not saying you should feel free to wallow in a pit of despair just because you haven't got a boyfriend. I'm just saying that you are allowed to feel a bit down sometimes because of it. :lol: I've certainly waffled on for ages haven't I. I totally understand if you couldn't be bothered to read to the end of this or I have totally misread your situation and given you what you feel is the wrong advice. I think as empathic as we can be, we still tend to perscribe our feelings and motivations to others and see them through our own situations. In brief I admire your efforts at change, but I don't want you to be dissapointed because you set yourself goals that no one could possibly achieve. You are a kind, sensitive and thoughtfull person with a lot to give to the world and I can see very little about you that needs major change.
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| Minuet | Jan 8 2008, 02:16 PM Post #3 |
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Fleet Admiral Assistant wRench, Chief Supper Officer
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A piece of advice to both of you with regards to settling down, getting married and having children. There is nothing wrong with wanting this. But you need to take life one day at a time and not try to force this. I always knew I wanted to get married and have kids. I married at the age of 29 and was 32 when my first daughter was born. I was 39 when my second came into the world. At 22 and 24 you have some time. I am not saying this to discourage you from looking. But I want you both to realize that there is a difference between settling down or just settling to attain the goal of having children. You want the right man and if that means waiting a bit longer then so be it. Don't settle for anything but the right man for you. |
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| Data's Cat's Sister | Jan 8 2008, 02:22 PM Post #4 |
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Commodore
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Oh I completely agree. I haven't met the right person which is why I haven't got married yet. As much as I want to get married my last relationship proved that trying to make something work with the wrong man just isn't worth it. Doesn't stop you missing what you haven't got though, if you know what I mean. |
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| Intrepid2002 | Jan 8 2008, 07:38 PM Post #5 |
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UNGH!
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*ouch* What about the one or two of us sitting on the proverbial biological time bomb? :lol: |
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| captain_proton_au | Jan 8 2008, 09:54 PM Post #6 |
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A Robot in Disguise
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Sounds awfully like a new years resolution |
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| ~Luthien~ | Jan 12 2008, 08:48 AM Post #7 |
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Little Sister Of Sistertrek
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well dont you have one?
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| Spanky | Jan 12 2008, 08:54 AM Post #8 |
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Insanely Handsome Guy
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I don't do new years resolutions.
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(Had to throw that in there).
I hope you take this honest advice in the spirit in which it is intended and not as me trying to knock you down or be overly critical.



7:59 PM Jul 10