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Dating: A Lost Art; Tell us about your date from heck.
Topic Started: Jun 27 2007, 07:44 AM (800 Views)
somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
Minuet
Jun 28 2007, 02:05 AM
Somerled - if the guy had an underlying medical condition he should have told her about it.

Like Anova said you only get one chance ot make a first impression. Honesty is a good quality. If he had an underlying problem he could simply have told her about it. She's a nurse - I think she could handle the information. Dishonesty about an underlying condition that would possibly spoil a date is a bad place to start a relationship.

Edit - by the way this is coming from someone who has actually dated someone with an underlying medical condition that could spoil things. But because he was honest with me I learned about the condition and dated the man for a number of months. It didn't work out in the end, but had nothing to do with his condition (Tourette's Syndrome, which was under control with medication - I wouldn't have known if he hadn't told me - but should the medication fail his antics could have been quite embarrassing)

He may not have known he had a medical condition , it may have been just as much a surprise to him as Intrepid.

Young men can also have unexpected medical emergencies that come out of the blue or he may have been suffering a severe allergic reaction.

Anyway Intrepid has explained so this is no longer an issue.
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Minuet
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somerled
Jun 27 2007, 01:52 PM
Minuet
Jun 28 2007, 02:05 AM
Somerled - if the guy had an underlying medical condition he should have told her about it.

Like Anova said you only get one chance ot make a first impression. Honesty is a good quality. If he had an underlying problem he could simply have told her about it. She's a nurse - I think she could handle the information. Dishonesty about an underlying condition that would possibly spoil a date is a bad place to start a relationship.

Edit - by the way this is coming from someone who has actually dated someone with an underlying medical condition that could spoil things. But because he was honest with me I learned about the condition and dated the man for a number of months. It didn't work out in the end, but had nothing to do with his condition (Tourette's Syndrome, which was under control with medication - I wouldn't have known if he hadn't told me - but should the medication fail his antics could have been quite embarrassing)

He may not have known he had a medical condition , it may have been just as much a surprise to him as Intrepid.

Young men can also have unexpected medical emergencies that come out of the blue or he may have been suffering a severe allergic reaction.

Anyway Intrepid has explained so this is no longer an issue.

So why do you keep making excuses?????
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somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
Minuet
Jun 28 2007, 04:10 AM
somerled
Jun 27 2007, 01:52 PM
Minuet
Jun 28 2007, 02:05 AM
Somerled - if the guy had an underlying medical condition he should have told her about it.

Like Anova said you only get one chance ot make a first impression. Honesty is a good quality. If he had an underlying problem he could simply have told her about it. She's a nurse - I think she could handle the information. Dishonesty about an underlying condition that would possibly spoil a date is a bad place to start a relationship.

Edit - by the way this is coming from someone who has actually dated someone with an underlying medical condition that could spoil things. But because he was honest with me I learned about the condition and dated the man for a number of months. It didn't work out in the end, but had nothing to do with his condition (Tourette's Syndrome, which was under control with medication - I wouldn't have known if he hadn't told me - but should the medication fail his antics could have been quite embarrassing)

He may not have known he had a medical condition , it may have been just as much a surprise to him as Intrepid.

Young men can also have unexpected medical emergencies that come out of the blue or he may have been suffering a severe allergic reaction.

Anyway Intrepid has explained so this is no longer an issue.

So why do you keep making excuses?????

:wave2:
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ANOVA
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So Intrepid, what would you consider an 'artful' date?
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Intrepid2002
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UNGH!
ANOVA
Jun 27 2007, 11:49 AM
Um...maybe this guy lost out. I mean who cares what his intentions were? He botched it. You get one chance to make a good first impression. This guy:

Took his date to a buffet.
Didn't understand or failed to communicate that he understood what constitutes good sushi.
Overate or ate something that disagreed with him and had to leave.
Moogie should write these up like a Bridget Jones type journal. She might make some money out of her misadventures in modern courtship.

:lol:

So is it wrong or shallow to expect something nice on a first date? Let's face it, we aren't 16 years olds who have to borrow daddy's car or anything like that.

Is it sexist to expect a little gallantry from a guy?





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Minuet
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Intrepid2002
Jun 27 2007, 04:03 PM
ANOVA
Jun 27 2007, 11:49 AM
Um...maybe this guy lost out. I mean who cares what his intentions were? He botched it. You get one chance to make a good first impression. This guy:

Took his date to a buffet.
Didn't understand or failed to communicate that he understood what constitutes good sushi.
Overate or ate something that disagreed with him and had to leave.
Moogie should write these up like a Bridget Jones type journal. She might make some money out of her misadventures in modern courtship.

:lol:

So is it wrong or shallow to expect something nice on a first date? Let's face it, we aren't 16 years olds who have to borrow daddy's car or anything like that.

Is it sexist to expect a little gallantry from a guy?

No it's not wrong. Just as it is not wrong for the guy to expect the girl to dress nicely and behave politely.

Good manners all around.

And for the record I believe it is ok for a girl to ask a guy out and if she does so she should be prepared to pay for it. And there is also nothing wrong with agreeing mutually that the date should be "dutch".
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Intrepid2002
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UNGH!
ANOVA
Jun 27 2007, 03:54 PM
So Intrepid, what would you consider an 'artful' date?

Not quite sure. Something that doesn't entail bodily excretions maybe? ;)

I'm so bad. :doh:

Something out of the ordinary maybe? Something memorable?

I know courtship and the like shouldn't revolve around how much a person has or can afford but still there should be fantastic things that you can do on a first date besides going to a bar and getting plastered.

Is it a lost art?







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somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
Intrepid2002
Jun 28 2007, 07:10 AM
ANOVA
Jun 27 2007, 03:54 PM
So Intrepid, what would you consider an 'artful' date?

Not quite sure. Something that doesn't entail bodily excretions maybe? ;)

I'm so bad. :doh:

Something out of the ordinary maybe? Something memorable?

I know courtship and the like shouldn't revolve around how much a person has or can afford but still there should be fantastic things that you can do on a first date besides going to a bar and getting plastered.

Is it a lost art?

Harsh .... not even kissing (which is an exchange of bodily fluids).

Call me old fashioned but I never hoped for sex on the first date, I always treated my dates with respect and gave them the choice of venue for meals .
Mind you I did hit the jackpot on the first dates with a couple of girls when I was young and single , and not because I was dating a tart , it just worked out that way , most the girls I dated I knew for long time before dating them either through dancing, or my sisters (who introduced them to me) or because I knew them from school.

And there were also girlfriends when I was a teen or a young adult who I never went all the way with, even after dating for months. It wasn't that I wasn't interested, just the right opportunity never happened (especially before I had my own wheels or a drivers' licence) , some of them I skinny dipped with on occasion (nude doesn't = having sex , though it can be fustrating !!).
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Franko
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Shower Moderator

Quote:
 
Is it sexist to expect a little gallantry from a guy?


No. In fact, I used to tell my friends when escorting a date on a sidewalk to always walk on the outside. It's just a protective gesture, but some women notice stuff like that.

Once coming out of a theatre, it was kind of chilly so I took off my jacket and put it over her shoulders.

This kind of stuff scores big with the kind of ladies I'm looking for. If they don't appreciate a little gallantry, then I'm not really interested.


Actually, it's the "second" date that I always find the most tedious for some reason. :headscratch:


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8247
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Apparently we look like this now
I'm sure I've had some bad dates, but none come to mind right now. However, this date is funny. I was 19, and had broken up with this clingy, co-dependant girl. She kept calling me, begging me to get back together with her. I kept saying no. One day about 2 weeks after I broke up with this girl, I got a phone call from one of her friends, saying that she thought I was cool, and wanted to go out with me. I picked her up, and we went to a restaurant, and all she did was talk about how great of a girl my ex was. It didnt take long to figure out what was going on. It was a setup by the 2 of them to try to get the friend to talk me into taking the ex back. Once I figured that out, I started moving in on the friend. Every time she would mention the ex, I would put my arm around her, and tell her that I didn't want to talk about the ex. I wanted to talk about the two of us. She would change the subject for a little while, and then go back to talking about the ex. Finally, I started putting my hands on her, and getting frisky. She finally asked me to take her home, which I did. I never heard from either of them again. Talk about a sneaky plan backfiring on those two. :lol:
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somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
8247
Jun 28 2007, 03:05 PM
I'm sure I've had some bad dates, but none come to mind right now. However, this date is funny. I was 19, and had broken up with this clingy, co-dependant girl. She kept calling me, begging me to get back together with her. I kept saying no. One day about 2 weeks after I broke up with this girl, I got a phone call from one of her friends, saying that she thought I was cool, and wanted to go out with me. I picked her up, and we went to a restaurant, and all she did was talk about how great of a girl my ex was. It didnt take long to figure out what was going on. It was a setup by the 2 of them to try to get the friend to talk me into taking the ex back. Once I figured that out, I started moving in on the friend. Every time she would mention the ex, I would put my arm around her, and tell her that I didn't want to talk about the ex. I wanted to talk about the two of us. She would change the subject for a little while, and then go back to talking about the ex. Finally, I started putting my hands on her, and getting frisky. She finally asked me to take her home, which I did. I never heard from either of them again. Talk about a sneaky plan backfiring on those two. :lol:

That might have back fired onto you too , being an octapus and all.

What if she had accused you of assault or attempted rape ? It might have been hard to talk your way out of serious charges with the local police.

Really need to be careful in that kind situation especially if you dio not know the girl or lady very well.
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Minuet
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Fleet Admiral Assistant wRench, Chief Supper Officer
^^^ Doesn't sound like he forced himself on the girl or anything. He just made her a bit uncomfortable.
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~Luthien~
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Little Sister Of Sistertrek
never had a real date :lol:
Sparky came to visit my birthday and voila :rotfl: so i wouldnt know.
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ANOVA
Vice Admiral
My wife and I went on a date last Saturday. We went to the children's zoo. We are going out to dinner this Saturday, Her favorite resuarant.
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Admiralbill_gomec
UberAdmiral
I had an awful date once. It was right around the time I met my currrent wife. I was going through my divorce and friends convinced me to go out and see a few people.

I was fixed up with this Russian chick who worked with a golfing buddy of mine. I was 41 and she was 25. I was wearing a tie and she was in the latest "club fashion." We met at a Chinese restaurant I had been to a few times near my old condo (primarily because I knew the food was good, and if I had to bail I wouldn't be driving home for ages). Let's just say she had an overinflated opinion of herself to start out with. She talked and talked about guys she dated, and when she finally ran out of breath she (out of the blue) bitched at our waiter who was bringing our drinks. She ordered the most expensive glass of wine on the menu and proceeded to tell me that she didn't believe in exchanging all the "bourgeois formalities" demanded by today's society. So, instead of telling me about hobbies, life, and the life, it was a rant about how men are this and women are that and college is a waste and on and on.

The appetizers arrive and I've barely said anything more than, "I see" because I was always taught it was rude to interrupt. She scooped about 2/3 of the salt and pepper tofu onto her plate and continued her rant. It was charming to see that stainless steel Soviet era dental work mixed with the tofu as she continued her rant. The waiter comes by and she demands another glass of wine. I asked for hemlock (she didn't know the reference).

Our meal arrives and she's ready for a third glass. We've been there 30 minutes. You know, there are some things you can attribute to nervousness and others just a sense of entitlement. I got the impression that she was the type who went to clubs and always had a group of hopefuls buying her drinks and paying her cover. I finally get the chance to speak. I find out in short order that she hates kids (tough since I had one), most other women, and when I told her I'd been to the Hermitage in St. Petersburg she corrected me by saying "Leningrad!" Loudly. Niiiiiiiice.

Ten minutes later she's ready for glass #4. Half of the restaurant is trying not to look at her (because they can certainly hear her) The waiter brought out the bottle (you usually get four pours out of a 750 ml bottle in a restaurant and he opened this bottle for her). He pours the end of the bottle into the glass, and a droplet lands on her wrist. Of course it wouldn't have happened if she set the glass down on the table. Details, details. She turns beet red and calls him a "clumsy shit" and demands to see the owner.

The owner comes out (he's also the head chef) and attempts to mollify her but she's having none of it. Oh yeah, and she drained that glass in about two minutes. By now I've had enough of this spoiled brat. I apologized to him for her outburst, and she glared at me. He offers to comp the meal but I tell him that it isn't necessary.

He goes back to his kitchen, and she's still beet red. She demands to know why I didn't take her side. I told her because she was wrong. With that she stands up and says, "Good night!" She stalks out of the restaurant and out of my life.

I finished my dinner (and even stayed for dessert) and I saw the owner again. I apologized profusely for her behavior and told him that the meal was wonderful. I even tipped the waiter extra. I've been going to that restaurant at least once a month for nearly 8 years and once in a blue moon he jokes with me about it. He and I even told my wife the tale, with him recounting her outburst at him.

The following day I called my buddy and told him about the date. He was amazed, because she's always so quiet at work. Besides, he figured I'd appreciate a 5'9", 125 pound blond with "great legs and a butt like two puppies fighting in a sack." I told him it wasn't worth what I went through at all, which got me a 20-game minipack of Astros tickets for two as an apology (which got me to buying season tickets for a few years following).
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