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Teenage Daughters and Valentine's Day; the parent's perspective.
Topic Started: Feb 16 2006, 08:07 AM (1,128 Views)
somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
My daughter got 3 Valentine's Day Cards (pressumeably from different boys) and also big bunch of red roses from a secret admirer delivered by special delivery ..... I am not sure how I feel about that and she has been in really strange mood since.

If you had a teenage daughter (16 ish) , how would you respond to this ?
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Intrepid2002
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UNGH!
Tell us more about how you feel. Are you worried? upset? happy for her?

On second thought, how expensive were those roses and who could they have come from?

Just a thought.
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somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
Intrepid2002
Feb 16 2006, 11:11 PM
Tell us more about how you feel.  Are you worried?  upset?  happy for her?

On second thought, how expensive were those roses and who could they have come from?

Just a thought.


I was a really big and extravigant bunch of roses. So it wont have been cheap. (I have no idea how much they would have cost .

No idea who it is - she's been more interested in hanging with her girlfriends (even when going to dances and formals) til now, though has had some boy friends (but nothing this (apparently) serious).


A bit uneasy that some boy seems so interested in her that he is prepared to spend a small fortune on flowers for her. She is way too young to get that serious.

I am assuming he is a boy at her school , and hope she hasn't attracted the attention of some predator who is too old for her. (Indicative is the expense of the present , but some kids have casual or parttime jobs.)

I am seriously considering grounding her until I and my boys meet the boy and can suss him out , and I can lay down the law to him.
His parents might be very interested in where he found the money for the bunch of roses and it's delivery too.
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~Luthien~
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Little Sister Of Sistertrek
That is kinda young,but too ground her thats pretty serious.
But maybe I shouldnt reallly give my opinion on this since im only 2 years older.
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24thcenstfan
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Something Wicked This Fae Comes
somerled
Feb 16 2006, 08:07 AM
If you had a teenage daughter (16 ish) , how would you respond to this ?

I would talk to her and request information about any potential suitors, who she may or may not have been seeing around school,etc. Most importantly, I would try to find out who sent her the arrangement of flowers. If your daughter doesn’t know (and just isn't telling you), contact the florist and talk to the owner. Tell the owner you suspect that an adult may have sent flowers to your underage daughter and you are worried about a predator. The owner may tell you who sent the flowers. You can go from there.

If my daughter wasn’t forthcoming with me, I would put her on restriction. I would also have a long talk with her about strangers lurking around her and her school. I would have a talk with the school about potential dangers and make sure they are aware of the situation with the flowers. Whoever sent the flowers, knows where she lives. It could be just some 16 year old. On the other hand it could be a pycho neighbor. Keep your eyes open.
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somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
~Luthien~
Feb 16 2006, 11:28 PM
That is kinda young,but too ground her thats pretty serious.
But maybe I shouldnt reallly give my opinion on this since im only 2 years older.

I wouldn't be so worried if she was a couple years older.
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Fesarius
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Admiral
Somerled,

My girls are not that old yet (12, 7, 4, and 1) so I don't know if I can be helpful at all. But we know all of their friends, so if flowers came to our door unexpectedly, I'm sure my wife and I would both be quite surprised. They'd have to get past their older brother, who's 13. But he's 6'4" and 230 lbs. and growing. ;) :)
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somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
24thcenstfan
Feb 16 2006, 11:40 PM
somerled
Feb 16 2006, 08:07 AM
If you had a teenage daughter (16 ish) , how would you respond to this ?

I would talk to her and request information about any potential suitors, who she may or may not have been seeing around school,etc. Most importantly, I would try to find out who sent her the arrangement of flowers. If your daughter doesn’t know (and just isn't telling you), contact the florist and talk to the owner. Tell the owner you suspect that an adult may have sent flowers to your underage daughter and you are worried about a predator. The owner may tell you who sent the flowers. You can go from there.

If my daughter wasn’t forthcoming with me, I would put her on restriction. I would also have a long talk with her about strangers lurking around her and her school. I would have a talk with the school about potential dangers and make sure they are aware of the situation with the flowers. Whoever sent the flowers, knows where she lives. It could be just some 16 year old. On the other hand it could be a pycho neighbor. Keep your eyes open.

Mrs has already tried that , she's clammed up or isn't sure herself.

The shop wont say who the customer was , or doesn't know who he was.

I am certainly going to call the head teacher and ask if they might keep an eye on her while on the grounds.

If it comes to light that he is (a lot) older than she is - I'll be involving my policemen nephews (in uniform) in any confrontation as my wife and I will not permit this to go any further irrespective of how my daught my feel about him. There is the option to send her to her grandmum's for a few months , she can go to school with her cousins at Forster if she kicks up a stink and wont accept being on restrictions (in order to put some distance between her and the boy / man).

It could all be perfectly fine and I might be being an overprotective dad.
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somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
Fesarius
Feb 16 2006, 11:51 PM
Somerled,

My girls are not that old yet (12, 7, 4, and 1) so I don't know if I can be helpful at all.  But we know all of their friends, so if flowers came to our door unexpectedly, I'm sure my wife and I would both be quite surprised.  They'd have to get past their older brother, who's 13.  But he's 6'4" and 230 lbs. and growing. ;) :)

Four girls , boy oh boy are you in for it when they discover boys , or get discovered by them.

I thought I knew most her friends and classmates , it could be a boy she has met at the beach , or the pool , or at the local big maul (Charlestown Square is when the local kid hang and meet up, being central to all local bus routes, near the local pool and the local arcade and multiplex) and who I haven't or my son's haven't met.

My son's aren't impressed either.

She's in bed now , it's past midnight and a schoolday tomorrow , and she has the bunch of roses up against the bedside chest.

(Where's that old chastidy belt ? ;) )
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Fesarius
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Admiral
Quote:
 
My son's aren't impressed either.

Neither are mine ... yet. ;)
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Intrepid2002
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UNGH!
somerled
Feb 16 2006, 09:18 AM


I am seriously considering grounding her until I and my boys meet the boy and can suss him out , and I can lay down the law to him.

:no: Don't do that! That could seriously backfire on you. For now, a crime has not been committed YET.... ;)

If he does something funky, then kick the schitt out of him.

If this is her first experience with the opposite sex (socially that is and it should stay that way till she's at least 30) then she might feel a little awkward presenting this situation to her Dad. Mum might be easier to talk to.

Don't get too anxious.

Although I would wonder where the young man got the money to buy such an expensive gift. Just keep that in mind and be observant.

Remember, no matter how strong the opposition (if there is any) to your daughter's would be suitor, there is NOTHING you can do to keep her away from him if she really really (thinks she) loves him. No amount of intimidation, hysterics, WMD, etc. etc.... Don't put her in a position where she has to choose.

But that's for later.....
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Fesarius
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Admiral
^^^
Well, one could convince their daughters to consider very carefully any choices they make with regard to relationships. I think mindset is key.
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Intrepid2002
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UNGH!
^^^

Agreed.



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captain_proton_au
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A Robot in Disguise

A bunch or Roses on Valentines day would have been at least $100, but I suspect more.

Probably even too much for a 16 yr old kid with a casual job (earning $6 an hour for about 20 hrs a week)

I see three possibilties:

They came from a creepy older guy

They came from a boy from a wealthy family, ie. a spoilt brat you probably want to keep your daughter away from

They came from an obsessed fellow classmate who probably will never get up the nerve to talk to her.


Good luck!
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Swidden
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Adm. Gadfly-at-large; Provisional wRench-fly at large
A big bunch of roses hunh?

Probably it is a kid her age (maybe a bit older) with a part time job and he spent most of his paycheck (if not all) on this. This is probably the only one worth losing any sleep over, but even then not too much.

The 3 cards are probably nothing to worry about.

Don't ground her for things other people are doing. All you'll do is tick her off and she won't even think of telling you what's going on with her and her life.
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