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The Dangers of Misusing Historical References; cartoon/satire
Topic Started: Jun 18 2005, 05:51 AM (131 Views)
Wichita
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Sorry for the "listing" of things here, but it's been the longest week of my work year and I was behind on my reading. This is political satire from Iowahawk:


:) :) :) :) :)


From the Desk of Senator Dick
An ongoing series featuring the correspondence of Senator Richard Durbin (D-IL), America's most dynamic metaphorist

********************************

Mr. Hector Gutierrez
Gutierrez Bros. Landscaping
Arlington, VA

Dear Mr. Gutierrez:

Nothing could have prepared me for the shock that awaited as I exited the front door of my home early Wednesday morning, where I discovered that your lawn crew had cut a swath of environmental destruction across my yard so horrifying that it only can be compared to the Rape of Nanking. I can scarcely bring myself to describe the killing fields that are my North azalea beds and the brutal degradation and torture suffered by the bluegrass around the locust tree by the rear patio. I am writing to inform you that I have contacted the US Department of Interior to conduct a full independent investigation into Gutierrez Brothers' actions in this matter. Please be advised that you may be subpoenaed for records pertaining to mower height, pruning shear maintenance, and leaf blower emissions. I would also advise your crewmen to heed the lessons of the Judgement At Nurenburg: although they may be spared the justice due their superiors, "I was only following orders" is not an excuse.

Sincerely,

Senator Richard J. Durbin
Washington, DC

********************************

Customer Relations Department
United Airlines
Elk Grove Village, IL

Dear Sir or Madam:

In the dark annals of human evil, history has recorded the Holocaust, the Rwandan genocides, and Stalin's mass starvation program. And now, United Airlines flight 671 from Reagan International to Chicago O'Hare on June 3rd, 2005. I know, because I am a survivor of that dark exemplar of man's cruelty to man.

Perhaps I should have known what I was in for when your brusque gate agent refused to issue an upgrade to me for the flight (despite being a Premier/1K member for over 10 years), or when your flight crew Gestapo confiscated my carry on Roll Tote (even though I had nearly fit it into the overhead bin). But the true measure of the horror did not dawn on me until me and my fellow passengers were left taxiing on the O'Hare tarmack for over twenty minutes in the Auschwitzian Airbus A320 cattlecar, in temperatures approaching 85 degrees, not knowing our fates or whether we would make it to our fundraising dinners.

Santayana once said, "those who forget history are doomed to repeat it." And I say to you and your fellow United criminals: "never again," unless you credit my account at least 2 flight segments for this travesty.

Sincerely,

Senator Richard J. Durbin
Washington, DC

cc: Human Rights Watch
cc: Amnesty International

********************************

Ms. He-Sook Park
AAA Georgetown Drycleaning
Washington, DC

Dear Ms. Park:

To paraphrase Pastor Martin Niemoeller, a witness to the Shoah:

First they frayed the hem on my wife's Valentino gown
My staff aide did not speak out
Because it was my wife's and it wasn't that noticeable

When they didn't honor the 5-for-$4.99 tie coupon
My staff aide did not speak out
Because the small print said "good Tuesday to Friday"

And when they overstarched my best Brooks Brothers shirts
there was no one left to speak out to
Because your counter attendant did not speak English

I will no longer stay silent in the face of your cruel and sickening campaign of chemical fabricide, Ms. Park. Mankind will soon learn of the horrors you are hiding behind the flimsy facade of 'One Hour Martinizing.' I expect full reparations for the suffering of my wardrobe, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Senator Richard J. Durbin
Washington, DC

P.S. -- Could you hem a pair of casual trousers before Saturday? I have a DNC retreat coming up.

********************************

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Epstein
3786 Arbor Cove
Fairfax, VA

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Epstein:

In her diaries, Anne Frank wrote, "After all that has happened, I still believe there is good in everyone." I am sad to say that after the obscene neighborhood parking situation Saturday, prompted by your son Jacob's Bar Mitzvah at Congregation Beth Shalom, I cannot reach the same optimistic conclusion.

As I witnessed one after another of your uniformed parking attendant shock troops invading my cul de sac with menacing SUVs, eventual blocking my driveway, I could not help but imagine the raw panic that must have gripped the doomed souls that inhabited the ghettos of Warsaw in 1939. Although the traffic jam eventually passed over when your took your adolescent blitzkreig on to Lazer FunZone, I am not sure I will ever fully recover from the trauma.

Never again, Mr. and Mrs. Epstein. Never again.

Sincerely,

Senator Richard J. Durbin
Washington, DC

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Wichita
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Dwayne
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:D
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Apparently we look like this now

Quote:
 
Limbaugh touted "Club G'itmo, the Muslim resort"

As part of a new "advertising campaign" for the U.S. detention facility at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, radio host Rush Limbaugh suggested touting the facility as "Club G'itmo, the Muslim resort," a "tropical paradise down there where Muslim extremists and terrorist wannabes can get together for rest and relaxation." On his website, he is even selling "Club G'itmo" T-shirts that read "I Got My Free Koran and Prayer Rug at G'itmo," "Your Tropical Retreat from the Stress of Jihad," "My Mullah went to Club G'itmo and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt," and "What Happens in G'itmo Stays in G'itmo."

From the June 14 broadcast of the nationally syndicated Rush Limbaugh Show:

LIMBAUGH: It's time to use a little absurdity here. Time to be absurd to illustrate some. "We need to shut down this Gitmo prison" -- well, don't shut it down, we just need to start an advertising campaign. We need to call it, Gitmo, the Muslim resort. Any resort that treated people like this would have ads all over The New York Times trying to get people to come down and visit for some R&R, for some rest and relaxation.

Any resort promotion would brag about its amenities that cater to the needs of its guests. Anything better than diet, Qurans, prayer rugs, I mean where else can Muslims go in the world to find everything they need? There's no better place than Gitmo. Club G'itmo, the Muslim resort. The infidels have Club Med, why don't the believers get their own Club G'itmo? It sounds like we've put one together for them. It's a one-of-a-kind resort on the west coast of Cuba overlooking the bay. Every visitor, every check-in at no charge gets a new Quran, a new prayer rug, Muslim chefs, Muslim dietary laws, five prayer sessions a day.

Club G'itmo has been endorsed by Amnesty International. It's a tropical paradise down there where Muslim extremists and terrorist wannabes can get together for rest and relaxation. I mean, that's the way to portray this, for crying out loud.

From the June 16 broadcast of the show:

LIMBAUGH: I'm sitting here thinking, folks, that if this treatment that we are continuing to mete out to detainees -- prisoners of war, terrorists-in-waiting at Gitmo -- if the word of how they're being treated keeps getting out, we're going to have Al Qaeda people surrendering all over the world trying to get in the place.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Club G'itmo and our brochure at rushlimbaugh.com now features two T-shirts, ladies and gentlemen. We put them on sale yesterday, and they are going like hotcakes. They're a reddish-orange t-shirt and you can buy one or you can buy both. One of them says, "Club G'itmo" on the front and then on the back, "Your Tropical Retreat From the Stress of Jihad."

The other one says, "Club G'itmo" on the front, and on the back it says, "My Mullah Went to Club Gitmo and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt." They're both $19.95. They come in sizes small up to double-X, and we're also still checking on prices to come up with Club G'itmo bathrobes and soap on a rope or just soap. Club G'itmo, whichever, and we've also added the fact that kids might want to be sent down to Club G'itmo, except Americans, because American kids are not allowed to pray in school or anything else. It's a great place for young jihadists to go and take a break from their training.

A third one says "Club Gitmo" on the front, and "I got my free koran and prayer rug at Club Gitmo."



:rotfl:
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Dwayne
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Yes, that's quintessential Rush Limbaugh.
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