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visitors guide to Iowa
Topic Started: Dec 22 2004, 02:14 PM (102 Views)
CV6 Enterprise
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Captain
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you'll do all week at the gym. How'd you like to go home and tell your momma that you got your but kicked by a big guy in bib overalls?

2. It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter who slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any referneces to 'corn fed' when talking about our women will get your butt kicked... by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flat head breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13 inch trout you fish for... bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot

7. If that cell phone rigns while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope that you don't have it to your ear at the time.

8. The Hawkeyes and Cyclones are as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks... and a dang sight more fun to watch.

9. No, there's no 'Vegetarian Special' on the menu. Order a steak. Order it rare. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a class with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and severd over ice.

11. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter million dollar combine that we use two weeks a year.

12. Lets get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks -- because they want to. So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish --carp, too --and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 80 goes two ways, - 35 goes the other two. Pick one.

16. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of pheasant season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. so every person in every pick-up waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept or we'll kick your butt.

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards. It spooks the fish.
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Dr. Noah
Sistertrek's Asian Correspondant
And now everyone knows why I moved to California. :lol:
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24thcenstfan
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Something Wicked This Fae Comes
Quote:
 
4. Any referneces to 'corn fed' when talking about our women will get your butt kicked... by our women.

That's funny. I don't know why......it just is. :lol:
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Deleted User
Deleted User

:lol: I wonder what T'Lac will say about thiis. Suddenly, i'm scared of her!
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Minuet
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Fleet Admiral Assistant wRench, Chief Supper Officer
The Sisko
Dec 22 2004, 02:29 PM
And now everyone knows why I moved to California. :lol:

Sisko - you are definitely a Californian at heart.
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Sophie
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Keeper of the spider-cats
Mike Welsby
Dec 23 2004, 03:24 AM
:lol: I wonder what T'Lac will say about thiis. Suddenly, i'm scared of her!

don't worry, the only one I agree with is number ten.
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Deleted User
Deleted User

^^^

:rotfl: Not Dr. Pepper? :lol:
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Sophie
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Keeper of the spider-cats
that too.

or a doctor with a last name of Pepper...are there any?
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