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Little help needed with letter of application; please check my english
Topic Started: Nov 30 2004, 06:02 PM (232 Views)
Vger_art
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To baldly go
I could use some help people, I need to respond to a job opening quick and it needs to be in english. It's just a response to a lady from a recruiting office I know and it doesn't need to be formal in any way but it does need to be in good english!
Please read it and let me know if I've made any stupid mistakes, wrong verbs etc, I really need this job.


Quote:
 
Dear Ellen,

I would like to apply for the job of  support desk officer at Unilever. What I find appealing in this job is that I will be dealing with customers with great variety in skills. With several years of experience in customer care I have dealt with both absolute beginners who required great patience and system experts who just needed a little reminder. The continuous change in level of support is what kept my job interesting. I also enjoy solving puzzles and I’d like to think I have an analytical mind (as you can read in my curriculum vitae I’m a quite a fanatical chess player), but most of all I find great satisfaction in reassuring people their problem is in good hands and will be solved.

In my experience it’s most important to keep the customer well informed of the progress. The customer always knows best how a particular problem effects his ability to work and good communication therefore is vital in deciding how to handle the problem, e.g. use a workaround, instruct the customer in an alternate, temporarily, way to get his job done etc. I also fully realize the necessity for the support desk officer to keep track of the problem, even if he transfers the problem to another department, actually such should go without saying. After all, why bother with a problem if you’re not interested if it gets solved or not.

I noticed Unilever uses a great number of custom made applications. Of course anybody coming from outside this organization will need some time to familiarize himself with these programs. With 14 years of experience in the IT-business and as a (former) application developer I am confident I will master these applications fairly quick.

For your information I have included a copy of a Customer Service test I took for another recruitment and selection agency in October 2003. This is a confidential report and I kindly ask you to handle this as such.

I would greatly appreciate it if you introduce me as a candidate for this job, please keep me posted.

Kind regards,
Gerard
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Sophie
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Keeper of the spider-cats
Vger_art
Nov 30 2004, 05:02 PM
I could use some help people, I need to respond to a job opening quick and it needs to be in English. It's just a response to a lady from a recruiting office I know and it doesn't need to be formal in any way but it does need to be in good English!
Please read it and let me know if I've made any stupid mistakes, wrong verbs etc, I really need this job.


Quote:
 
Dear Ellen,

I would like to apply for the job of  support desk officer at Unilever. What I find appealing in this job is that I will be dealing with customers with great variety in skills. With several years of experience in customer care I have dealt with both absolute beginners who required great patience and system experts who just needed a little reminder. The continuous change in level of support is what kept my job interesting. I also enjoy solving puzzles and I’d like to think I have an analytical mind (as you can read in my curriculum vitae I’m a quite a fanatical chess player), but most of all I find great satisfaction in reassuring people their problem is in good hands and will be solved.

In my experience it’s most important to keep the customer well informed of the progress. The customer always knows best how a particular problem effects his ability to work and good communication therefore is vital in deciding how to handle the problem, e.g. use a workaround, instruct the customer in an alternate, temporarily, way to get his job done etc. I also fully realize the necessity for the support desk officer to keep track of the problem, even if he transfers the problem to another department, actually such should go without saying. After all, why bother with a problem if you’re not interested if it gets solved or not.

I noticed Unilever uses a great number of custom made applications. Of course anybody coming from outside this organization will need some time to familiarize himself with these programs. With 14 years of experience in the IT-business and as a (former) application developer I am confident I will master these applications fairly quick.

For your information I have included a copy of a Customer Service test I took for another recruitment and selection agency in October 2003. This is a confidential report and I kindly ask you to handle this as such.

I would greatly appreciate it if you introduce me as a candidate for this job, please keep me posted.

Kind regards,
Gerard

The only mistake I see, is the extra space between the words 'of' and 'support'. Other then that everything else is fine.
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Vger_art
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Thanks for the quick response T'Lac, I really appreciate it !!!
It's past midnight here, she didn't reach me untill this evening and this company wants to make a decision tomorrow morning already.
I looked it over myself 10 times and each time I had more and more doubts about my english.
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Swidden
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Adm. Gadfly-at-large; Provisional wRench-fly at large
Unless I am misreading the context I think "temporarily" should be "temporary". Other than that, and T'Lac's observation, it looks good to me...
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Vger_art
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^^^
Thanks Swidden, if that's all I won't let it worry me too much.

It's morning by now and I already talked to the lady on the phone, she sounded very enthusiastic. It's for a international support center and their first demand was: Good english. Seems I was the only candidate who bothered to respond in english in stead of dutch. All I can do now is wait for the phone to ring :clock:
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Intrepid2002
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UNGH!
Sounds impressive. Hope you get the job! Good luck!
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Wichita
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The Adminstrator wRench
And again I am humbled to see someone communicate far better in English (which is their second language) than I can communicate in any language

... including English on occasion. :blush:
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Fesarius
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Admiral
Vger_art,

It looks quite good. My only question: Where you wrote--

After all, why bother with a problem if you’re not interested if it gets solved or not.

Should that sentence end with a question mark? Maybe not.

Best wishes. :)
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Vger_art
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Wichita
Dec 1 2004, 10:13 AM
And again I am humbled to see someone communicate far better in English (which is their second language) than I can communicate in any language

...  including English on occasion.  :blush:

After watching over 700 Star Trek episodes about 3 times each I couldn't help pick up some english :D


It feels good to share my hopes with other members at SisterTrek, thanks. I do hope I get the job (still haven't heard anything yet), it's not that I need the money that bad but after all these months of doing nothing I'm turning into a cranky old man and I'm beginning to feel like Capt. Dunsel :ermm:
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Fesarius
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Admiral
^^^
Vger_art,

I received several rejection letters years ago before I landed my first best job. I just kept plugging along, hoping for the best....
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somerled
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Admiral MacDonald RN
Vger_art
Nov 30 2004, 06:02 PM
I could use some help people, I need to respond to a job opening quick and it needs to be in english. It's just a response to a lady from a recruiting office I know and it doesn't need to be formal in any way but it does need to be in good english!
Please read it and let me know if I've made any stupid mistakes, wrong verbs etc, I really need this job.


Quote:
 
Dear Ellen,

I would like to apply for the job of  support desk officer at Unilever. What I find appealing in this job is that I will be dealing with customers with great variety in skills. With several years of experience in customer care I have dealt with both absolute beginners who required great patience and system experts who just needed a little reminder. The continuous change in level of support is what kept my job interesting. I also enjoy solving puzzles and I’d like to think I have an analytical mind (as you can read in my curriculum vitae I’m a quite a fanatical chess player), but most of all I find great satisfaction in reassuring people their problem is in good hands and will be solved.

In my experience it’s most important to keep the customer well informed of the progress. The customer always knows best how a particular problem effects his ability to work and good communication therefore is vital in deciding how to handle the problem, e.g. use a workaround, instruct the customer in an alternate, temporarily, way to get his job done etc. I also fully realize the necessity for the support desk officer to keep track of the problem, even if he transfers the problem to another department, actually such should go without saying. After all, why bother with a problem if you’re not interested if it gets solved or not.

I noticed Unilever uses a great number of custom made applications. Of course anybody coming from outside this organization will need some time to familiarize himself with these programs. With 14 years of experience in the IT-business and as a (former) application developer I am confident I will master these applications fairly quick.

For your information I have included a copy of a Customer Service test I took for another recruitment and selection agency in October 2003. This is a confidential report and I kindly ask you to handle this as such.

I would greatly appreciate it if you introduce me as a candidate for this job, please keep me posted.

Kind regards,
Gerard

Address the requirements set out in the job specification , advertisement, briefly as possible.

Briefly set out what you can offer (briefly as this should be spelled out in some detail in your CV - which will be no more than 4 to 6 pages long), keep your application under 1 page , shorter is better as they will be reading lots of letters and wont have time to read your's if it is long, grab their attention in the first paragraph is at all possible..

There are formal letter writing styles that apply to job applications, use these , even if the application is made by email.
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Vger_art
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I had the job interview, some days ago already. It went pretty well considering the difficulties with 3 managers asking questions in english with 3 different accents, one dutchman, one brit and the third one sounded like a Klingon. They called today to let me know I didn't get the job. They figured somebody else was even better qualified. It's not the first rejection but I was perfect for this one, the bloody fools :frust: :banghead:

somerled
Dec 4 2004, 06:55 AM
... Briefly set out what you can offer (briefly as this should be spelled out in some detail in your CV - which will be no more than 4 to 6 pages long), keep your application under 1 page...
I joined a job training group and they told me to keep my CV to a max. of 2 pages?! Since I can handle more than one job I have several CV's, each emphasizing my experience (technical, commercial or financial) whatever is relevant to the job. Once the employer is interested, I can supply additional documents in more detail about my previous responsibilities.

I'm more troubled what happens when they ask for references with my latest employer. I left that company after a big fight with the company's president, calling him a cheat, a thief and a liar (which he all was btw).
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Fesarius
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Admiral
Quote:
 
I'm more troubled what happens when they ask for references with my latest employer.

Vger_art,

You are well within your rights in asking them *not* to contact your current employer. When I've gone on interviews and been asked that question, I tell them 'I'd prefer you not to that until I know whether or not you are serious about me for this position'--or something similar to that. Best wishes. :)
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