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Tell A Joke; (the thread)
Topic Started: Dec 18 2003, 09:38 PM (559 Views)
ImpulseEngine
Admiral
^^^
It must be going around. Apparently Edna/Mary has multiple personalities! :lol:
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Minuet
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Fleet Admiral Assistant wRench, Chief Supper Officer
^^^So that's why she's in the looney bin!!!!!!!!!! :rotfl: :rotfl:
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doctortobe
Speak softly, and carry a 57 megaton stick!
A little football humor. I included all the Big 12 teams so no feelings would be hurt.

(1) What does the average Texas player get on his SATs?

...........Drool.



(2) What do you get when you put 32 Texas Tech cheerleaders in one
room?

............A full set of teeth.



(3) How do you get a Iowa State cheerleader into your dorm room?

...........Grease her hips and push.



(4) How do you get a University of Oklahoma graduate off your porch?

...........Pay him for the pizza.



(5) How do you know if a Nebraska football player has a girlfriend?

...........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup



(6) Why is the Colorado football team like a possum?

...........Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.



(7) What are the longest three years of a Texas Tech
football
player's life?

............His freshman year.



(8) How many Missouri freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?

..........None. That's a sophomore course.



(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?

..........Manhattan, Kansas. He knew that the police would never look
at
KSU for a
Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)



(10) Why did Oklahoma State choose orange as their team color?

...........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday,
and picking
up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
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Minuet
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Fleet Admiral Assistant wRench, Chief Supper Officer
And God created woman, and she had 3 breasts. He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?" She replied, "Yes, could you get rid of this middle breast?" And so it was done and it was good. Then the woman
exclaimed as she was holding the third breast in her hand, "What can be done with this useless boob?"


And God created man!
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doctortobe
Speak softly, and carry a 57 megaton stick!
And God created man, and named him Adam. But Adam desired companionship from one like himself. So God put Adam into a deep sleep and, from one of his ribs, He created woman, who was named Eve. And Eve did hound Adam night and day to do the long list of chores which appeared with the creation of Eve. And Adam then spoketh to Eve, "Who do you think you are, God's gift to man?".

;) :angel: :lol:
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ImpulseEngine
Admiral
Minuet and doctortobe:
:rotfl:


Here's one I just got in my e-mail. Warning: Don't read just before a meal!

While packing for his business trip, a father's 3 year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, the father reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in his mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before he rushed out of the room again.

When the father returned, his daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. The father asked, "What's wrong, honey?" She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
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Minuet
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Fleet Admiral Assistant wRench, Chief Supper Officer
Time to revive this thread. I got this joke in my email the other day and thought it was cute.

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business, the Annual Sexual Education convention in Chicago."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, siitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really," he said. "What myths are those?"

"Well," she explained. "One popular myth is that African men are the best endowed, when in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to
possess that trait."

"Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent".

"We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
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SupervisorJ
Autonomous Dingbat
90% of my jokes are 100% dirty but here's the cleanist I can think of right now.

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?










Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken!
:loling:
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Sgt. Jaggs
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How about a Voyager Movie
What happens to a duck that flies upside down?

Spoiler: click to toggle
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Minuet
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Fleet Admiral Assistant wRench, Chief Supper Officer
I have to periodically revive this thread when I need a good laugh!

My sister sent me an email directing me to this wonderful song for Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand fans (or non-fans :loling: )

You Don't Smell Like Flowers Anymore
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captain_proton_au
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A Robot in Disguise


A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe.

The've both had a hard day, so they start to get into the drink quite a bit.

Laughing, carrying on, beer, spirits and then shots.

They get friendly with a few patrons and stay to the wee hours of the morning.

By this time the giraffe is really tanked, gets dizzy and collapses on the floor.

His friend decides to call it a night, and just as he is leaving the bartender leans across and says "Oi, you can't leave that lyin' there!"

The Guy turns to the bartender and says " It's not a lion, its a giraffe "

:D
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Fesarius
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Admiral
^^^
LOL! What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful means 'against the law.'

Illegal means 'a sick bird.' ;)
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DixonHill1989
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Cadet 4th Year
:rotfl: I don't have any jokes but these ones are really funny. :rotfl:
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