How to become more more social around women and people alike

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How to become more more social around women and people alike; I'm social depressed
Topic Started: Oct 29 2009, 10:25 AM (650 Views)
Trigun1462	Oct 29 2009, 10:25 AM Post #1
xxReaperxx Posts: 820 Group: Members Member #2,453 Joined: Oct 25, 2006	I don't know what to do I'm such a unscocial bastard the only social activity I do get is online I'm such a hermit, I'm so much of a social hermit I'm going to therapy for it and I found out I have aspurgars (typed it off the top of my head) a certian autisim I want to be more social but I need help I wish I had friends to help me out but I don't so I turn to the form for help IDC about the grammer okay people
	People=ShitHow can you die without living and how can you live without dying?The things we pathetic humans do to the earth


13th Warrior	Oct 29 2009, 12:27 PM Post #2
King Of The Impossible Posts: 887 Group: Members Member #13 Joined: Jul 5, 2003	I have a friend who has Asperger's and believe it or not this does get better with time. At first he found me baffling and was confused, but gradually he became increasingly comfortable and traded banter like anyone else. What I suggest is finding a hobby or activity that you like that gets you out of the house. In my case it's both the comedy society and karate. It's easy to lose track of people and become afraid of social interaction, but once you get used to it you'll get there in the end. Good people will make allowances and they'll be the ones worth sticking with.
	www.reynardcity.co.uk Three foxy heroes come to Earth- A caramel sensitive psychic, a neurotic ex-beauty queen and the son of a notorious gangster. Can they defeat a tyrannical tycoon, the evil robot Mega Fox and his army, and Caramel Girl and her vicious gang of Bakery Boys? "I want to see how weird it gets" Aintitcool.com Want to know more about the comic/cartoon? Email will2000uk@yahoo.com


eeveeblaze	Oct 29 2009, 01:06 PM Post #3
Owner of the Tubby Bishies Posts: 2,315 Group: Chef Member #1,496 Joined: Jul 2, 2005	I'd recommend joining a club, sport, group of some kind related to what your interests are. When you do, just be nice and friendly, but also polite. You don't want to come on too strong. Talking with other people becomes so much easier when you have a common interest. If that's too big of a step, I'd suggest to work up to it. Go out for coffee sometime and make small-talk with the cashier. Even cliche stuff about the weather will help work up your confidence in approaching people. Also. Make YOURSELF approachable by others. When you're out in public, keep yourself open to conversation. If you're waiting for a bus or sitting in class, don't plug in your headphones or start playing your DS or something. That gives off the impression that you're busy and aren't interested in conversing. Maybe consider evaluating how you look and dress. If you're dressed shabbily and haven't shaved or washed your hair, people will be reluctant to get too close. On an unrelated note, having known and interacted with plenty of people who have autism or Asperger's (my little brother being one of them), here's a suggestion related to that. Now I'm not sure how you, personally, interact with others, but a tendency often associated with people with these conditions is the inability to pick up on important social cues, such as when another person is bored or uninterested in what you're saying, or when they seem like they want to leave. I'd recommend discussing this with your therapist and perhaps direct your attentions towards improving that if it's something that poses difficulty for you. With a little instruction, it's very easy to get the hang of. The main thing would be to ask questions about the other person and maintain the principle of conversational reciprocity. Don't stick too long on a topic if the other person seems to have little to add to the conversation. Ask them questions about themselves. Reveal information about yourself gradually, and try to match the pace of the other person. Don't chat about personal, sensitive, or emotional issues upon first meeting. It tends to put people off. If you have any specific questions about how to talk to people or how to notice social cues better, you're free to PM me. I have a lot of experience with having and making friends with people with autism or Asperger's. (EDIT: The title of this thread amuses me so much. Women, people, psshaw~) Edited by eeveeblaze, Oct 29 2009, 01:13 PM.
	Sorry Wolf. I think I win. My WG-Art: http://countessfayt.deviantart.com My non-WG Art: http://eeveeblaze.deviantart.com


Odin	Oct 29 2009, 11:41 PM Post #4
Lord of the Squishies Posts: 249 Group: Members Member #3,388 Joined: Aug 27, 2008	I'm fairly sure I told you before that I probably would be rediagnosed with it, as similar symptoms are present. Here's something that helps people get to know you- have something good for starting conversation nearby. For instance, pick up a trading card game that is somewhat popular in your area. Like the college I go to has a decent population of Magic: The Gathering players. So I learned how to play it and put together a deck and all of a sudden there are like 20 people that I at least recognize and talk to just because it leads into conversation if you leave something like that sitting where other people that enjoy it can see it and talk about it. It's not like I actually am any good at it, but because people see the cards near me it helps break the ice because they know "hey I can talk to this guy by asking him about his cards." Things like that seem to work fairly well to get rid of awkwardness early on. It seems like social skills are kind of like levelling up a character in a MMORPG. At first you're awkward about it and you mess up a lot and have to start over. But then things will start to fall into place, you'll work out a method that is effective for you and all of a sudden you can handle a lot of situations that would have previously ended badly. The same goes for women. No two ways about it, you absolutely have to practice talking to them even if it is people you have no intent to actually date. Otherwise there is an awkwardness barrier that will interfere, and you'll be far more likely to mess up and miss out on the one you set your sights on. Plus you never know, perhaps there is a friend of a friend that suits you better than the one you've been oogling for the past month. Edited by Odin, Oct 29 2009, 11:42 PM.
	Here you go Teth. Beepdog, now powered by Lost Signal Network How on earth the site portion of PAWG produced over 255GB of traffic in the past month from only 700MB of gallery is beyond all three IRC netadministrators. Only solution I can think of is that is a LOT of people fapping.


Teth	Oct 30 2009, 01:33 AM Post #5
‌Questionable. Posts: 435 Group: Members Member #4,062 Joined: Apr 3, 2009	Quote: aspurgars Assburgers. Lol. Quote: (EDIT: The title of this thread amuses me so much. Women, people, psshaw~) Knowing Trigun, it's just women. :l But srsly. All I can say is get ready to be shut down by someone, and try not smack them in the face because of it. People most of the time just fit in with those who are similar. Don't change yourself to fit in, be yourself and go with those who are alike; Or in special occurrences, be yourself and get friends who aren't like you anyway.
	______________________________________________ ♥----------------PAWG Wiki----------------♥ 【初音ミク・3DPV】machine muzik　（若干高画質） Fact - A Fact of Life Barrage - Devil's Nightmare Rockoons TV by Tirrel Battlefield: Bad Company Sniping M95 Sydney Cooke (Nia Peeples) Singing <3


Pikul	Oct 30 2009, 01:47 AM Post #6
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 262 Group: Members Member #4,181 Joined: May 4, 2009	Well, can you post an image of yourself so I can kind of get an idea of what I'm working with here? This all reminds me of a girl that was in our group at school who has Asperger's Syndrome. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if a handful of Pawgians have Asperper's too.



Teth	Oct 30 2009, 01:49 AM Post #7
‌Questionable. Posts: 435 Group: Members Member #4,062 Joined: Apr 3, 2009	Pikul Oct 30 2009, 01:47 AM Well, can you post an image of yourself so I can kind of get an idea of what I'm working with here? How is that relevant? Unless you're Brian Peppers ugly.
	______________________________________________ ♥----------------PAWG Wiki----------------♥ 【初音ミク・3DPV】machine muzik　（若干高画質） Fact - A Fact of Life Barrage - Devil's Nightmare Rockoons TV by Tirrel Battlefield: Bad Company Sniping M95 Sydney Cooke (Nia Peeples) Singing <3


Odin	Oct 30 2009, 01:55 AM Post #8
Lord of the Squishies Posts: 249 Group: Members Member #3,388 Joined: Aug 27, 2008	Pikul Oct 30 2009, 01:47 AM Well, can you post an image of yourself so I can kind of get an idea of what I'm working with here? This all reminds me of a girl that was in our group at school who has Asperger's Syndrome. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if a handful of Pawgians have Asperper's too. I wouldn't be at all surprised either. Been noticing some slightly unnerving trends in the members, with exceptions of course. Now that would make a fascinating study wouldn't it. The relationship between aspergers and FA-ism. It does seem like a lot of the aspergers people I know share a preference for larger women. Something to consider too is what kind of girl are you looking for. It really helps meeting people if they are people you can connect to, that way there are things in common to talk about. I mentioned trading cards earlier as a relatively cheap way to meet people if you already have a somewhat social situation to use that as an icebreaker for, but there are other ways too. Edited by Odin, Oct 30 2009, 01:57 AM.
	Here you go Teth. Beepdog, now powered by Lost Signal Network How on earth the site portion of PAWG produced over 255GB of traffic in the past month from only 700MB of gallery is beyond all three IRC netadministrators. Only solution I can think of is that is a LOT of people fapping.


Pikul	Oct 30 2009, 02:38 AM Post #9
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 262 Group: Members Member #4,181 Joined: May 4, 2009	Odin Oct 30 2009, 01:55 AM Pikul Oct 30 2009, 01:47 AM Well, can you post an image of yourself so I can kind of get an idea of what I'm working with here? This all reminds me of a girl that was in our group at school who has Asperger's Syndrome. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if a handful of Pawgians have Asperper's too. I wouldn't be at all surprised either. Been noticing some slightly unnerving trends in the members, with exceptions of course. Now that would make a fascinating study wouldn't it. The relationship between aspergers and FA-ism. It does seem like a lot of the aspergers people I know share a preference for larger women. Something to consider too is what kind of girl are you looking for. It really helps meeting people if they are people you can connect to, that way there are things in common to talk about. I mentioned trading cards earlier as a relatively cheap way to meet people if you already have a somewhat social situation to use that as an icebreaker for, but there are other ways too. Premiere Anime Weight Gain. Although the site contents differ from the site's title/slogan, it says anime. There are a handful of kids in my school who favor anime over breathing. That being said, they all suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, if we're following the symptoms of Asperger's. Even the girl in the group I hang with at school, she has a "thing" for anime. Teth How is that relevant? Unless you're Brian Peppers ugly. I've learned that popularity isn't as exaggerative as something you see on TV, but rather nonchalant about what it wants from kids, and it doesn't want much. After viewing many members on PAWG; most of us are overweight, poorly dressed, and poorly groomed folk. Is that what girls/friends want? Its not any extension of my imagination that Trigun is just another hairy fat guy who wears black clothes with trademark childish prints on them. And this is not an insult to Trigun, I swear it isn't. I'm just trying to prove a point that maybe a picture could help give us suggestions that maybe girls would be interested at least on the outside, you know, window to the soul kind of deal. Not to be some conceited asshole, but its pretty obvious High School girls aren't necessarily on a hunt for "beautiful on the inside" at the start. Whether Trigun is beautiful on the inside is beyond me. However this may seem like I'm being an asshole, but what Trigun is really asking for is to... be less socially awkward, and I for one think that maybe feeling content or courageous about how good you look is a nice start to building a higher self-esteem. Edited by Pikul, Oct 30 2009, 02:44 AM.



Froot-Loup	Oct 30 2009, 03:21 AM Post #10
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 108 Group: Members Member #4,621 Joined: Aug 12, 2009	Damn, I didn't know you had Asperger's, now I feel like shit for hating you. =/
	~~~~ I AM SOPHISTICATE <Pakona>so what's going on today? <Loup-Renard>Not much, you <Pakona>not much either. <Pakona>it's like we're twins or some shit.


Pikul	Oct 30 2009, 04:06 AM Post #11
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 262 Group: Members Member #4,181 Joined: May 4, 2009	Froot-Loup Oct 30 2009, 03:21 AM Damn, I didn't know you had Asperger's, now I feel like shit for hating you. =/ Its Asperger's, not cancer.



Froot-Loup	Oct 30 2009, 05:00 AM Post #12
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 108 Group: Members Member #4,621 Joined: Aug 12, 2009	Still feel shitty, my brother has Autism.
	~~~~ I AM SOPHISTICATE <Pakona>so what's going on today? <Loup-Renard>Not much, you <Pakona>not much either. <Pakona>it's like we're twins or some shit.


Maréchal des logis Daedalus	Oct 30 2009, 05:22 AM Post #13
Sub-tropical Tree Posing as a Man Posts: 236 Group: Members Member #2,061 Joined: Jun 8, 2006	That does not matter much Mr. Pikul, because the idea is that disposition of people for a thing which they have little control over, or did not choose, is stupid, such as racism, discrimination of people with certain sexual orientations or identities, and hatred for people with particular diseases. Unless you happen to believe Asberger's Syndrome is created from voluntary decisions of the individual somehow, all of that would be upon the same level of bigotry. Yes, the boundaries of this concept are blurry from the issue of free will, but no argument will change my opinion. An example of this is how I would probably hate you, but since you seem incapable of being anything but an overly critical, unsympathetic person, perhaps even a troll(and because you sometimes provide seemingly necessary critique), I have to appreciate and forgive.
	DAAAAAAH "He has an ego. When you take a picture of yourself in the mirror showing your nipple, that says something."


Pikul	Oct 30 2009, 01:29 PM Post #14
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 262 Group: Members Member #4,181 Joined: May 4, 2009	Maréchal des logis Daedalus Oct 30 2009, 05:22 AM That does not matter much Mr. Pikul, because the idea is that disposition of people for a thing which they have little control over, or did not choose, is stupid, such as racism, discrimination of people with certain sexual orientations or identities, and hatred for people with particular diseases. Unless you happen to believe Asberger's Syndrome is created from voluntary decisions of the individual somehow, all of that would be upon the same level of bigotry. Yes, the boundaries of this concept are blurry from the issue of free will, but no argument will change my opinion. An example of this is how I would probably hate you, but since you seem incapable of being anything but an overly critical, unsympathetic person, perhaps even a troll(and because you sometimes provide seemingly necessary critique), I have to appreciate and forgive. No, I'm talking about severities in viruses, syndromes, and diseases. Autism and Asperger's does not cause death, it is no major or leading pandemic making a dent into the world's population. Autism and Asperger's does not destroy lives, tear families asunder, and hurl you into years of bed rest. I suggest getting off your soapbox because although nobody can change the fact they have Autism and Asperger's, you have your physical and (in most cases) mental health. I don't even know how one could compare Autism and Asperger's to something like Cancer or AIDS. It baffles the mind.



Froot-Loup	Oct 30 2009, 09:59 PM Post #15
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 108 Group: Members Member #4,621 Joined: Aug 12, 2009	It may not send someone into bed rest or cause death, but it sure as fuck can destroy lives and tear families apart. Edited by Froot-Loup, Oct 30 2009, 10:00 PM.
	~~~~ I AM SOPHISTICATE <Pakona>so what's going on today? <Loup-Renard>Not much, you <Pakona>not much either. <Pakona>it's like we're twins or some shit.


Pikul	Oct 30 2009, 10:10 PM Post #16
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 262 Group: Members Member #4,181 Joined: May 4, 2009	Froot-Loup Oct 30 2009, 09:59 PM It may not send someone into bed rest or cause death, but it sure as fuck can destroy lives and tear families apart. And then we just come back to the severity of it all. Most cases (which includes this one) can be treated with Behavior Therapy. Its like being Bipolar. There isn't drama to be dug up here.



Froot-Loup	Oct 30 2009, 10:22 PM Post #17
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 108 Group: Members Member #4,621 Joined: Aug 12, 2009	I still don't get what severity of the disease has to do with feeling bad about it. I feel less severely like crap?
	~~~~ I AM SOPHISTICATE <Pakona>so what's going on today? <Loup-Renard>Not much, you <Pakona>not much either. <Pakona>it's like we're twins or some shit.


Pikul	Oct 30 2009, 10:25 PM Post #18
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 262 Group: Members Member #4,181 Joined: May 4, 2009	Froot-Loup Oct 30 2009, 10:22 PM I still don't get what severity of the disease has to do with feeling bad about it. I feel less severely like crap? Well... for starters its not a disease. The severity has to do with how dramatic you're making it sound. Like we should all drop whatever we're doing and pay attention to him. Its a behavior disorder, quit acting like a victim in a thread thats not about you and maybe give him some advice. Stay on topic much?



Froot-Loup	Oct 30 2009, 10:31 PM Post #19
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 108 Group: Members Member #4,621 Joined: Aug 12, 2009	Pikul Oct 30 2009, 10:25 PM Froot-Loup Oct 30 2009, 10:22 PM I still don't get what severity of the disease has to do with feeling bad about it. I feel less severely like crap? Well... for starters its not a disease. The severity has to do with how dramatic you're making it sound. Like we should all drop whatever we're doing and pay attention to him. Its a behavior disorder, quit acting like a victim in a thread thats not about you and maybe give him some advice. Stay on topic much? You're the one that's blown this all out of proportion. Just in case you haven't noticed.
	~~~~ I AM SOPHISTICATE <Pakona>so what's going on today? <Loup-Renard>Not much, you <Pakona>not much either. <Pakona>it's like we're twins or some shit.


Pikul	Oct 30 2009, 10:36 PM Post #20
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 262 Group: Members Member #4,181 Joined: May 4, 2009	Froot-Loup Oct 30 2009, 10:31 PM Pikul Oct 30 2009, 10:25 PM Froot-Loup Oct 30 2009, 10:22 PM I still don't get what severity of the disease has to do with feeling bad about it. I feel less severely like crap? Well... for starters its not a disease. The severity has to do with how dramatic you're making it sound. Like we should all drop whatever we're doing and pay attention to him. Its a behavior disorder, quit acting like a victim in a thread thats not about you and maybe give him some advice. Stay on topic much? You're the one that's blown this all out of proportion. Just in case you haven't noticed. If you really need to continue this, if you really want to argue it, PM me please. Don't keep trying to argue your point when I just said," its over, stay on topic please". Its over, stay on topic please.



Froot-Loup	Oct 30 2009, 10:41 PM Post #21
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 108 Group: Members Member #4,621 Joined: Aug 12, 2009	Pikul Oct 30 2009, 10:36 PM Froot-Loup Oct 30 2009, 10:31 PM Pikul Oct 30 2009, 10:25 PM Froot-Loup Oct 30 2009, 10:22 PM I still don't get what severity of the disease has to do with feeling bad about it. I feel less severely like crap? Well... for starters its not a disease. The severity has to do with how dramatic you're making it sound. Like we should all drop whatever we're doing and pay attention to him. Its a behavior disorder, quit acting like a victim in a thread thats not about you and maybe give him some advice. Stay on topic much? You're the one that's blown this all out of proportion. Just in case you haven't noticed. If you really need to continue this, if you really want to argue it, PM me please. Don't keep trying to argue your point when I just said," its over, stay on topic please". Its over, stay on topic please. I honestly was staying on topic until you felt like you had to attack my post. Stop trying to save face by turning me into the cause of this. Anyways Trigun, as I was saying, I'm sorry for giving you so much shit in the past, especially now that I realize that these social disadvantages are what I've criticized you for. Also, I apologize for cooperating in the hijacking of this thread.
	~~~~ I AM SOPHISTICATE <Pakona>so what's going on today? <Loup-Renard>Not much, you <Pakona>not much either. <Pakona>it's like we're twins or some shit.


Odin	Oct 30 2009, 11:44 PM Post #22
Lord of the Squishies Posts: 249 Group: Members Member #3,388 Joined: Aug 27, 2008	Pikul Oct 30 2009, 10:25 PM Froot-Loup Oct 30 2009, 10:22 PM I still don't get what severity of the disease has to do with feeling bad about it. I feel less severely like crap? Well... for starters its not a disease. The severity has to do with how dramatic you're making it sound. Like we should all drop whatever we're doing and pay attention to him. Its a behavior disorder, quit acting like a victim in a thread thats not about you and maybe give him some advice. Stay on topic much? Pikul, it may be an even crueler disease than Cancer. You won't die from it ever, though it may lead you to do stupid things that could get you killed. To date it has no known cure, and treatment strategies vary widely in effect from person to person to the point where in many cases a method of treatment found previously effective will actually make the situation worse for someone else. There is no choice but to live with it as painful as it can be in most cases, and because the majority of it's symptoms are psychological very little is known about what causes it or how to treat it. There are some studies suggesting that is in fact related to a physical problem with the body, but because most cases can be corrected through psychology and through some lifestyle changes they cannot yet pin it down for sure. Let me put it this way. Imagine living life as though you are a wall. The world happens around you, but you are unable to feel it and you don't know why. People realize very quickly that you don't understand jokes very well, and are incredibly slow on the draw describing feelings, so they leave you alone because you don't fit in anywhere and they are afraid of accidentally making you mad. It's a hard lonely life, doesn't surprise me one bit that a lot of cases are finally detected when the patient finally snaps and attempts suicide to bring attention to themselves. And the internet is full of them too. Because where do you go when the world doesn't want you? To the internet, where everyone has the same handicap as you courtesy of the extreme difficulty in capturing emotions in text. Falling in love as someone with such a condition is even harder. It takes quite a while to even be able to recognize the feeling of love, let alone acting on it in a relatively normal manner. Combine that with the social awkwardness making it hard to meet people in the first place, and the unusual behavior reducing available options even further, and you have an excuse to be a 40 year old virgin. Edited by Odin, Oct 30 2009, 11:45 PM.
	Here you go Teth. Beepdog, now powered by Lost Signal Network How on earth the site portion of PAWG produced over 255GB of traffic in the past month from only 700MB of gallery is beyond all three IRC netadministrators. Only solution I can think of is that is a LOT of people fapping.


Pikul	Oct 30 2009, 11:47 PM Post #23
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 262 Group: Members Member #4,181 Joined: May 4, 2009	Damn, no wonder people with Asperger's Syndrome are so fucking unhappy. Everyone treats them like they're a retard. I'm seriously sorry for Trigun now. I still think Trigun is normal.



Froot-Loup	Oct 31 2009, 12:02 AM Post #24
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 108 Group: Members Member #4,621 Joined: Aug 12, 2009	There are different levels of severity on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum, and while Odin describes most of the symptoms, not everyone who has Asperger's is going to have all of them. That said, I believe Odin has a firmer grasp of what Asperger's is than you do. Edited by Froot-Loup, Oct 31 2009, 12:02 AM.
	~~~~ I AM SOPHISTICATE <Pakona>so what's going on today? <Loup-Renard>Not much, you <Pakona>not much either. <Pakona>it's like we're twins or some shit.


Pikul	Oct 31 2009, 12:08 AM Post #25
Fat and Fabulous Posts: 262 Group: Members Member #4,181 Joined: May 4, 2009	Alright, well I'm dropping it. My first few comments were dismissed, then the rest of it was attacked. Had a bad day, don't feel like dealing with this and getting even more into it when its just going to fall back on to me, get me suspended, and then get told how immature, unreasonable, and distracting I was being. I said I wanted to get back on topic, that won't fly with you guys, and now my intelligence is being put on trial. Really not in the mood to deal with it, so the best solution is I'm going to drop it. PM me, or I'm not replying. Enough said.



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