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| I feel extremely bad. | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 15 2007, 01:27 AM (1,466 Views) | |
| SCORE* | Nov 15 2007, 01:27 AM Post #1 |
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iamcool.
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So my boyfriend have been neglecting me lately. Well, he's been busy with school since it's his senior year and he recently got a job. We both live in different states because I got a full ride scholarship up in Minnesota and he got one down in Arkansas. So you can pretty much assume that we barely see each other. Our only way of communication at this point is through our cellphone. But with everything that has been going on lately, we hardly even talk. Our conversations are shorten everyday by mindless arguments about how you don't even care anymore and you would much rather hang out with your friends than me. Of course, there's nothing wrong with him hanging out with his friends. We had just finely patched everything up and just awhile ago, I asked if he would give me his time on Friday. I wanted to ask early because if his friend was to ask him to hang out on Friday, he would already have something planned. When he did answered me he told me that he'll spend it with me unless something comes up. I don't know about you, but at that moment I felt so unimportant to him. To think that I asked him early just so I know he would spend it with me, for him to tell me that he would much rather spend it with his friends. I mean, I haven't even been talking to him. We talk once a day and it's not even for 30 minutes. That's not good especially when it's a long distance relationship, don't you think? Well, in the mist of all of this. I became friend with a guy named umm...let's call him Dennis. Dennis would sit and listen to my rant about my boyfriend and everything that we've been through. He would give me advice about the situation and everything. No harm in that, right? Well, one night when I called Dennis to rant about things that's happened, he was like, "Good night babe. You should get some sleep" Where I grew up, you usually don't use the term, "babe" unless you had some close relationship with that person. It sort of freaked me out because I had no intention of liking this guy. I did talk to him afterward that night because he was a person that I can confine in for just about anything. He was there when Aj wasn't, so it's safe to say that we've became close friends. Sometimes, I find it awkward because he would call me a "cute loser" and he would always ask if I've eaten anything since I barely eat. It also caught me off guard one day was when I was talking about the party that I went to and he stopped me right in the middle of my story and was like, "I can't help it, but you have such an adorable voice on the phone," Mal is not trying to lead Dennis on, but I feel like I have. I would love to stop talking to him, but he had already became part of my world, in the sense that when I need something to just listen to me, he would do that. I feel so bad because it almost seem like I'm cheating on my boyfriend, and that's not what I'm trying to do at all. I love him so much and the least I would want to do is hurt him. Blah...I just needed to rant. -___- |
| Yellow Starburst is the new chocolate. | |
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| nicholas | Nov 15 2007, 02:39 AM Post #2 |
Sapere Aude
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how long have you and your bf been together? do you always fight or is it just lately that you guys have been arguing? imo talking to Dennis will make your bf feel worse about it and that might add even more fuel to the argument if he finds out =x just stop talking to Dennis for now. guys are jealous like that xD Find one of your close girlfriends and just catch up with them and talk with them about it. alot of relationships have the same problem that you have. my gf and I are nervous that if we move away to complete our majors, we will end up breaking up because it will be too far of a distance. sure cellphones will work every now and then but you can see how it begins knaws away at the relationship. sometimes you might even feel that the relationship is a crutch and holding you back. but if you really have been together for a long time and you've talked it out i say just take it one day at a time. if he doesnt see you on friday dont be mad just tell him that you're sad and that you really wanted to see him. don't just say i hate you why do you always hang out with your friends and not me. that will just send you guys in an argument. im not saying hes a great guy either i mean why doesnt he hang out with you when you guys have a chance to see each other in person? if he continues to treat you like Sh*t then just break it off =x because if you're giving more into the relationship then he is, the relationship is not worth having. hope i made sense xD |
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"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create." - Albert Einstein | |
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| AMR | Nov 15 2007, 04:37 AM Post #3 |
Overlord
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The heart has reasons that reason doesn't understand. You sound a lot like me Mal. I'm more emotional and my girlfriend is more logical. When we have problems I usually see it as a love type of problem and she sees it as, well it's because I've been busy. So don't do anything drastic. As for Dennis, if he really cares about how you feel he wouldn't be making a move on you. He's trying to catch you on a rebound. At least that's how I see it. Tell him you like him as a friend but you love your bf and you're sorry if you led him on. If he doesn't accept that then that just shows the kinda guy he is. If you need someone to talk to you can always talk to me. It's not like Id make a move on you ha ha. Or Angelo he usually has good advice. :) My advice is to stick it out with your bf and try your best not to fight with him. However, this depends on your bf. As long as he cares as much about you as you do him then you will make it through this. And from what I've seen he does. Feel better ok? :) |
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| SCORE* | Nov 15 2007, 01:20 PM Post #4 |
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iamcool.
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nicholas; It's just lately that we've been fighting. There's a problem with finding a close girlfriend to talk to is because I don't have any. I do have one, but she has her own relationship problems to deal with. I wouldn't want to bombard her with mines. All my other friends are males. I tend to have more friends that are male than females because I grew up with all guy cousins and I'm prone to that. I don't think I'm going to break up with the guy. He's been a part of me for too long. We've been through too much to just let everything go like this. I really want to make this work, but I would need him to meet me halfway also. David; Yeah, my boyfriend is more logical. We had an argument this past weekend and I asked him if he loved me anymore because he would say he does, but he wouldn't show it. And the argument all started with the fact that he was going to go out to eat with two Japanese girls. I mean, all girlfriend would get mad if they heard that, don't you think? Then he goes on saying that he cares about me a lot because he's going to eat out with TWO Japanese girls and not one. And the reason why he didn't sound, "normal" the whole time on the phone was because he didn't want to make it seem like he was excited or anything because it would just piss me off. Our ways of thinking are way too different. Sometimes I wonder if I'm holding on to something that's not there anymore. Sometimes he makes it seem like things like that doesn't matter. Then other times, he makes me feel like me being here is worthless. The thing with Dennis is he knows that I only like him as a friend. He's been really nice to me and all but sometimes it's just weird now. He told me that I shouldn't look at what's causing me the pain and more into the reason why I fell in love with that stupid boyfriend of mines. I have talked to Angelo about it, David. I would send him random text messages once and awhile. You know, with everything that's going on.....I feel like he's telling me indirectly to wait for him. As of right now, I stand after his school, family, work, and friends. Not that I'm complaining about it, but for once or just one day....it'll be nice to at least mean something. |
| Yellow Starburst is the new chocolate. | |
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| AMR | Nov 15 2007, 08:53 PM Post #5 |
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Overlord
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How many relationships has your boyfriend been in before the one of you and him? That might be having an affect on him? A commitment issue? I've had that before. I've screwed up with my girlfriend before because we were having problems. I ended up dumping her to go out with someone I worked with...(big mistake), I still regret it. So if anything does happen such as with the two Japaneses girls. Perhaps he is going through what I did? If thats the case and he does end up not wanting to be with you I'd give it a few weeks and I'm sure he will come crawling back. Then it's up to you what you want to do. This is all based off my experience. This all happened to me after a little less than a year of dating my gf. Now it's almost been 3 years and we are still together. I've gone through the whole neglectment thing after her father died. She became unaffectionate but I care about her so I'stayed with her. And when I say I'm like you I mean it haha. She's wanted to break up with me because she sees that her not being affectionate with me anymore was hurting me but I always said no because I don't want something like a death or for you a long distance to effect my relationship and I hope you don't either. I hope that made sense... Anyways about the Two Japanese girls.. If I did that my gf would kill me haha. And if my gf went out to dinner with two guys without inviting me I'd be pissed as well. So I can see how that is upsetting. Sadly, it always backfires when you get jealous then you get accused of not trusting the other person. IDK if he's done that to you but it's happened to me. But my situation had to do with my gf's ex bf who is still her "Friend". They would go out all the time and hang out. And because it pissed me off my gf would get mad at me saying I don't trust her. And it's not that I don't trust her I just don't trust him. Anyways I hope that helps, at least you're not alone and I know you will get through this alright. :) |
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| Angel | Nov 15 2007, 11:28 PM Post #6 |
C_Beyond ((chunsa oppa))
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the guys gave some good advice, mal...hope it helps ya... you know, if aj talked to you more, appreciated the small amount of time you two got to talk, made you feel special, you wouldn't feel as neglected. yeah, its tuff with the long-distance relationship, but thats all the more reason to work extra hard at maintaining a level of intimacy between you both. there's a saying..."abscence is to love as wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small, and kindles the great". being apart, its putting your relationship to the test. he needs to step up and be the man, make his girl feel special at the very least. i think its great that you want to work it out. i truly hope it does. you two make a great couple. but do not sell yourself short either. it takes two to make a relationship, and if it seems after you've tried time and again to make it work, that he isnt returning your love for him, then...well...i hate to see you get hurt, mal...i only hope things work out like you hope they do. <3 as for dennis...guys are weird sometimes, we'll mistake when a girl comes to us for need as a signal that she wants something..more...when thats the last thing she had on her mind. i've done it myself. theres nothing like wanting to protect a pretty girl, dry her tears, so on... and it seems you do still want him in your life cuz you gotten to a level of closeness with him, but...he needs to know wuts up...its got to stop....it aint goin nowhere...and if he is truly a friend, he'll set his romantic feelings aside, and as hard as that may be, try to just be your friend. i've also had to do that too...its so hard. but, the friendship, if you lose that, then whats left really. dont feel like you lead him on either. its a guy thing. you know you have me to talk to, mal...always <3 and i'm really glad you opened up here too...you've got friends to support you when you need it. keep in touch, k? |
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| SCORE* | Nov 16 2007, 12:42 AM Post #7 |
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iamcool.
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David: He has been in a few. Been in a relationship with a girl (his first love) that lasted about a year and he was in another relationship after that for about eight months. After that one there was a relationship he had for a couple of months and then months later there was me. I was his friend throughout all of his relationships, which is why we got so closed. You dumped your girlfriend because you wanted to go out with someone you worked with? Wow. I never knew you were like that, David. Aj and I don't have trust problems. I think it's more toward the communication side. I trust him and I hope that he would never do that to me. I don't he would be the type of guy to come back after that. I don't know if he'll put aside his pride and come back to me, but he can always surprise me. Sometimes I feel like he treated his ex-girlfriends a lot better than me. Like when he was with them, he treated them better than how he's treating me. But I suppose it can always have to do with our understanding toward each other. Yeah, he has threatened to leave me, but he never does it when I tell him to. One time, he was like, "If you flip out of me, I'll break up with you" and I told him, "DO IT!" But he was like, "No," Honestly, I do care a lot about this situation but just thinking about it all the time now made me realized that I don't care about it as muh as I did before. Angelo: Oddly enough, he told me that yesterday. He asked me if I appreciate the time that he talks to me since he hardly have any time at all because of school and work. I do appreciate all the time that he's given me. I really wish that even if he talks to me, it wouldn't always be about how his day went or him complaining about basketball. Just sometimes I would want it to be about us or something. I know what you mean, Angelo. When I told my Latino guyfriend (a mutual friend of both of us) he told me, "I did not let both of you live with me in the summer for this to happen! It was suppose to be a marriage damn it!" Funny, huh? His mom (My latino mother) isn't so keen on Aj. She told me to get a better boyfriend when I left. LOL Dennis has been a good friend through all of this. It's just sometimes his actions are strange like that. We will still remain friends but there will never be any romantic feelings between us. |
| Yellow Starburst is the new chocolate. | |
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| AMR | Nov 16 2007, 12:59 AM Post #8 |
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Overlord
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Yeah. We were gonna break up anyways. We were having problems and she said she was gonna break up with me as well but I beat her to it. So we broke up. Then that other girl ended up just wanting to have sex with me. Which usually is the other way around haha. And I didn't want to, so that just pissed her off and then I decided I made a mistake and I told the girl it wasn't working. At that point she tried getting back at me by trying to break my brother up with her friend. Which she succeeded at and my brother still has feelings for the girl he was with but it was ruined by that other chick...
:( So basically I got back with my gf now and from there it just strengthened our relationship.
:) It's not like I cheated, I broke up with my girlfriend. :( Anyways, I'm glad you're feeling better about the situation. :) |
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| SCORE* | Nov 16 2007, 10:20 PM Post #9 |
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iamcool.
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So basically you were part of the reason why your brother and his girlfriend? Then again, if their relationship wasn't strong enough it was probably bound to happen. I don't think Aj and I would ever get back together if we were to ever break up. Thanks for your support, D-Man. :) |
| Yellow Starburst is the new chocolate. | |
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| AMR | Nov 17 2007, 02:41 AM Post #10 |
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Overlord
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I guess you could say I did it haha.. but it was that girl I dated for a little bit... she manipulated his gf. hmmm. No, Problem Mo-Mal! ;) |
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| Angel | Nov 17 2007, 03:24 AM Post #11 |
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C_Beyond ((chunsa oppa))
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lol...i remember u talkin bout that, lil bro...oy vey...the drama...glad its worked out for ya tho...jax is a cutie (*crosses fingers...hopes thats the right name for current gf*) |
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| AMR | Nov 17 2007, 03:41 AM Post #12 |
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Overlord
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OMG no it is not! how could you get that wrong!?.... J/P haha. I'm surprised you know her name haha. :D Thnanks for the support! :) |
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| SCORE* | Nov 17 2007, 12:59 PM Post #13 |
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iamcool.
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Trust me, D-Man. Angelo and I had our share of guesses the other day. LOL! Also, I suppose everything is ok for the most point. In the last two days, he has been making the effort to spend more time with me. |
| Yellow Starburst is the new chocolate. | |
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| AMR | Nov 17 2007, 03:17 PM Post #14 |
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Overlord
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lol. :laugh1: Who guessed Jax? I'm glad he is making more of an effort. :yeahhh: |
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| SCORE* | Nov 17 2007, 03:57 PM Post #15 |
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iamcool.
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Angelo guessed Jax, but I think I was right on when I guessed Jackie, right? I mean, Angelo guessed Nikki and Jess before that!!!! |
| Yellow Starburst is the new chocolate. | |
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| AMR | Nov 17 2007, 04:01 PM Post #16 |
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Overlord
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LOL :laugh1: Yes Jacki is right as well, I'm basically the only one that calls her Jacki everyone at school usually calls her Jax. Recently though everyone that knows her through me is calling her Jacki :) :ohman: Nikki and Jess haha. :shrug: What were some of your other guesses? |
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| SCORE* | Nov 17 2007, 09:34 PM Post #17 |
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iamcool.
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Oh, I don't know... Emma, Nicole, Justine, Britney, Danielle, Nancy, Emily, Molly, Amber, Ashley, Alexa, David's girlfriend. Just kidding. Jess, Nikki, Jax, and Jacki was it, but if you really think about that's a lot. Seeing that Angelo is your "big bro" and all, I would've thought that he would know his "lil bro's" girlfriend's name, but he didn't. Also, I completely understand the whole being the only one to call her, "Jacki." I'm the only one that calls my boyfriend Aj, otherwise his other friends call him Fang. |
| Yellow Starburst is the new chocolate. | |
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| freshmint | Nov 18 2007, 12:53 AM Post #18 |
sinisterly bitter
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;____; -pats mal on the back- guys are nubs 8D -flee- sorry i haven't been there for you sweetheart... >0< |
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| AMR | Nov 18 2007, 01:29 AM Post #19 |
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Overlord
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blushhh ahhlove Oh it's ok babe but I prefer D-Man over Sweetheart... :laugh1: j/p haha Is fang his real name or is Aj? |
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| Angel | Nov 18 2007, 01:30 AM Post #20 |
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C_Beyond ((chunsa oppa))
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i just got... Posted Image ...still luv ya, mal lol |
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