Need some fabulous advice...

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Need some fabulous advice...
Topic Started: Feb 27 2007, 04:40 PM (181 Views)
QUEEN A	Feb 27 2007, 04:40 PM Post #1
Close your eyes and run~ Posts: 5,039 Group: Advanced Members Member #6,181 Joined: December 19, 2004	Okay so, I've been working at Sanrio (a hello kitty store) since November 2006, and it's been pretty good. It was until I met this girl named Jennifer. Honestly, I looked up to her and admired her, but these days I'm so disappointed in her and feel as if it was my mistake to look up to her... And the sad thing is, I still love her (as a friend) and wish I can talk to her about these things, but don't know how she'll take it. So when I first started working at Sanrio, I never got to work with Jennifer cause she was out sick for a while. But when I did start working with her, I obtained some bad habbits at work. Like I'd start bad mouthing my boss and didn't want to put up with all the crap there. But when I rethought everything over, I knew that I wasn't acting like me, but instead like her. The thing is, she understands most of the things I go through. Starting with like the job, stress from school & home, friends, and boyfriend problems. I know it's not good to let other's problems get to you, but I let it get to me, and it started to change me. And she has a boyfriend and I'm real cool with him too. And I was talking to him and he was telling me about Jennifer and everything, and strangely, everything started to fit. It was weird to me. Like somehow the missing pieces came from it, and the puzzle was solved. He was telling me how she's always talking crap about him to her friends, and she does that to me too. She tells me how they always fight and blames everything on him. In truth, I knew she had her wrongs too, but it's really hard to just break it to her that the world doesn't revolve around her. (okay it gets a bit off topic here, but just bare with me cause it'll all make sense) My boyfriend was in LA President's Day weekend and was talking with Jennifer's boyfriend about well, me & Jen. Her boyfriend, let's just call him Mac. Mac told MK (my BF) about the fight and MK told me pretty much everything. It seemed as if Jennifer was just being really stubborn and didn't want to be wrong so she made it seem as if Mac was wrong. I didn't know what I was supposed to do since both are my friends. And Mac told me Friday night about everything like how Jennifer left him hanging and he was getting tired of putting up with her and stuff. He also told me how Jennifer almost broke up with him but changed her mind. That's what I just don't get. How do you say that your going to break up with someone and then you change your mind.... Well, Jennifer most likely doesn't know that I'm feeling this way because I haven't talked to her in a while. And while I was working on Friday, she told me that she was having some family problems and didn't want to talk to me for a while. Maybe it's my fault, but when she told me that, I felt as if I wanted to cry. I thought our friendship was more than that and yet she said that to me. I really thought that maybe she'll come talk to me because it was what FRIENDS DO. But I couldn't start crying while I was at work ><. So I just said "Okay, feel better, and just text me anytime." Now, the thing is. I'm thinking my boss is trying to fire her because Jennifer isn't getting any hours these days. (My boss sends out a weekly schedule and gives us certain amount of hours) So I thought Jennifer was on a 2 week break because that's what she told my boss a couple weeks ago. And honestly, I don't mind working there, but I did hate it here and there. But when I think back to it, I did have a lot of fault for acting that way, but even my brother said that it comes from bad influence. And while I was eating lunch w/ my brother yesterday he told me that Jennifer isn't a good influence on me. (My brother knows Jennifer from middleschool and she wasn't liked very much by everyone) So I'm just utterly confused. I know I should let her know because she IS my friend and I still love her, but will this jeapordize our friendship or make it better. That's what I'm really afraid of >< Now, another thing (sorry..) I'm having a lot of trouble with the thought of school. I've been on vacation since December and I'm starting school next Monday. But after I moved to Hacienda and moved back to LA my school isn't working out. They're trying to make me re-take my sophomore year and retake the CAHSEE, but I'm refusing. I know that I passed all my classes and the exit exam, so I told my counselor that I'm not going to retake. And now, I'm deciding if I should just do homeschooling. The reason for that is because the school that I am attending right now (the same school that I attended in 9-10[fall]) is giving me a lot of stress. I feel like breaking down and I just want to crawl into a hole and never go back to that school. I was talking with one of my mentors and she told me that I need mental help T__T. Anwyays! I think I do. Is it that much of a bad thing? I just feel so overwhemled with everything because I'm having a lot of family problems as well, and so many of my friends can't seem to understand. I know everything seems so minor, but I haven't been able to sleep and just be carefree for a long time. And I'm sorry if I made you guys read all of this, but some advice will help. Thank you guys<33333
	_sometimes...it's better this way


David	Feb 27 2007, 04:56 PM Post #2
Overlord Posts: 9,467 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: June 21, 2003	Hmm idk if I got it all but anyways I tell you what I think of what I got out of it. It seems something between Mac and Jennifer happend and now they both want to be your friends or try to win you over? This happened to me recently. As well.. Where my friend and her boyfriend broke up and I was friends with both them but they pretty much hate eachother well at least the girl does.. So they basically made us (My brother, and myself) choose who to side with. it wasen't fair and it basically got very close to ruining our relationship with one another. So it was a pain in the A$$ and they basically put all their problems on us. So my advice is if they try to make you side stop them and say your not going to take sides. They need to resolve there own problems. Your both their friends and you want to continue to be so just tell them to leave you out while they solve the problem. However this jennifer sounds like some people I use to know... They act friendly to everyone but behind their backs they talk trash about them. So if she's saying bad things about her bf.. She could very well be saying bad things about everyone. So be carful with that. And if you really like her as a friend keep her as a friend. As for School and Work. You should talk to your parents. Tell them "I can't really handle school and Work right now can I quit Work or at least cut my hours down?" And if they say no. Just say 'Welp so much for college then I'll just drop out of school and work at Sanio for the rest of my life" I'm pretty sure after that they will allow you to quit. If your stressed you should probably just quit your job. That should help a lot. :) Well yeah idk if that's what you where getting at but that's what i have to say ...so yeah haha.. I hope everything works out soon. and feel betetr soon! :) ;)



QUEEN A	Feb 27 2007, 05:08 PM Post #3
Close your eyes and run~ Posts: 5,039 Group: Advanced Members Member #6,181 Joined: December 19, 2004	My parents want me to quit Sanrio, but I'm refusing to. The deal with my school is that they don't give me the classes that I need... So it gives me a lot of stress since Junior year is the "most important." So i wanted to do homeschooling for the rest of the semester and take college classes at the same time >< T__T So much work...
	_sometimes...it's better this way


Winged VoX	Feb 27 2007, 06:30 PM Post #4
The Natural Playboy Posts: 3,793 Group: Admin Member #2 Joined: June 21, 2003	Why do you refuse to quit your job? Why are they making you retake your sophomore year?
	"Just Like Coffee That Has Cooled..." - Blog Spot


freshmint	Feb 28 2007, 08:59 AM Post #5
sinisterly bitter Posts: 4,959 Group: Admin Member #511 Joined: October 11, 2003	^agreeing with asking the same questions as arnell. as for Jennifer and Mac, i feel like davids right. maybe they are pushing their own problems onto you. i dont know much for mac's perspective, but Jennifer acts like one of the people i used to be friends with. she seems very two-faced. If you want to tell her, you should tell her. Even if it means your relationship is ruined. I think a friend should tell a friend in all honesty. My ex-friend (mentioned above) did something horribly horrendous and all my friends were concerned about her act. (this happened after i moved away) and they told her, 'how can you do this? you're acting like a moron. think it over.', and they gave her advice as friends, but she didn't take it and continued to do what upset them. therefore they said 'can you continue doing this? do you not want us to be friends anymore?'. she chose that path and decided to ignore all of them. it was upsetting to them that she could choose that one thing above all of the years of friendship that they had. back to the subject at hand. if Jennifer's your friend and she thinks of you as her friend, then she should be able to understand where you're coming from if you tell her. if not, then its clearly not a friendship. of course this is my own opinion and therefore you dont need to go through with it. the part where you mention how she was going to break up and decided not to and you asked how you can do that? there are people. trust me. also the part where Jennifer said she doesn't want to talk to you about her family problems. I agree with you that friends should tell friends about their problems. because of the reason your friends. But it doesn't apply to everything. Even I dont share everything with all my friends. I had a HUGE problem last summer. the only people i've really shared it with was angelo cause he's been there for me and my boyfriend. I just couldn't share it with anyone else. I think some things are meant to be left in the dark. For me, that problem still brings bad memories and I still get upset over it, but i've decided to put it away. If Jennifers having problems that she doesn't want to talk about with you, she should try not to show it. If she shows it, of course people will get worried. i feel like i've just written a bunch of nonsense o_o;; sorry you had to read it, Jay. hope things work out with everything. and i'll be back after you tell us whats up with school ;X [edit] if Mac can't handle Jennifer, they should break up >_> unless they're those couples that fight every 20 seconds and make up just as quickly o_o;;
	you know you want to feed it D<


nicholas	Feb 28 2007, 01:23 PM Post #6
Sapere Aude Posts: 2,777 Group: Advanced Members Member #4,404 Joined: June 24, 2004	i say stick w/ jennifer because she might need support and i don't you should tell her anything that might end the friendship cus that might add on to the stress that she has right now. as for mac i think hes just afraid to be single so he tries to put up w/ jen hoping it will change. as for you and school hang in there! it will get better eventually. try not to think of the future and take it a day at a time and soon you'll get through it. grab a book too that you like to read so that you can "escape" from the stressful real world sorta speak lol. sry i suck at advice xD but if you ever feel like talking we're all here for ya ;]
	"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create." - Albert Einstein


QUEEN A	Feb 28 2007, 04:01 PM Post #7
Close your eyes and run~ Posts: 5,039 Group: Advanced Members Member #6,181 Joined: December 19, 2004	Aww thanks guys :] Jiyoung, I know what you mean. I want to tell her everything, but I just don't know how to. She called me yesterday about her problems but I just seemed so betrayed. Like she uses me as a last resort.. I was glad that she did call, but she made it seem as if I was just there because I had nothing better to do. So I guess that hurt me a lot. And Nick, I know I should just stick with her cause she needs me, but how do you put up with someone who always changes sides? It's like, "She loves me, she loves me not" and on and on and on. I don't want to make her feel as if I hate her, cause I adore her, but it's hard to keep up with it. Now, about work. So right now, my family and I are having a lot of problems. For instance, the house that I'm living in right now got passed over to the bank because the owner (we're renting) didn't pay the morgage. And my mom wanted to buy this house after 2 years (we had a one year contract and was planning on making another one after this June). And mostly everyday someone will call asking for the owner or someone will show up at our front door step, and literally 3/4 of our mail is for him. We were about to get kicked out of this house sooner, but I guess my mom hired a lawyer to defend our contract or something like that. And because of that both my parents are going through a lot of conflict. And since living in LA is so expensive (but every where else is too far for their work & etc..) we're having a lot of financial issues. So if I don't work it'll just be more stress for them. My brother (though I love him so much) isn't working right now and is continuously asking for allowence. He says he'll work, but he hasn't even gone to an interview and stuff. I've been working since November and it does get in the way of my school and social life, but I can't quit because I know my parents will have it harder. So that's why I keep working. So that I can at least earn my own money so it's at least a LITTLE bit easier on them. But since my parents are going crazy because of all the payments and such, they don't take the time to look at my problems as well. Yesterday, I was having a heart to heart talk with my parents, and they didn't seem to understand the problems that's been stacking on my shoulders. I explained the reason that I didn't want to go to school and just do homeschooling. I get really bad aniexty when I think of school and I think about just going crazy. I get really stressed when I think of going back to school and my chest feels as if someone is squeezing it from the inside. My friends tell me that it's going to be okay and that everything will work out, and I want to believe them, but it just scares me. And the reason they were going to make me repeat the 10th grade is because my old school (Glen A. Wilson) didn't send over my official transcripts to my school now (L.A. High). I had my unofficial ones, but it wasn't in the computer so I was missing a lot of credits. So I asked my counselor of my unofficial so I can at least prove that I did pass my CAHSEE and my 10th grade year. But it seemed so f--ked up that they were going to make me repeat the year and things that I had already finished. (unless I go hit on the head and thought I finished it.. oO?) And my parents said yes to homeschooling, but yesterday they changed their minds. So I don't know what to do. Yesterday, I had a nervous breakdown and I went crazy T__T... So I don't know what to do anymore. I know this is a lot guys. And I hate the fact that you guys have to sit there and listen to my problems, but thank you. Really thank you guys<3
	_sometimes...it's better this way


freshmint	Feb 28 2007, 06:25 PM Post #8
sinisterly bitter Posts: 4,959 Group: Admin Member #511 Joined: October 11, 2003	we're here for you to tell us your problems when you need to, sweetie, so its no trouble at all. my first note: kick the owner's A$$ XD second: your brother needs to man up. he can't continually ask for allowance. if he wants allowance, let him earn it. especially since your family is having financial issues, its not fair to them because they're putting in so much effort to make your lives better. i know its very cliche to hear, but your parents care and thats why they're working so hard. he's got to appreciate that and he shouldn't go back on his word. if he said he'd find work, then he should find it. 'namja ga namja da wuh ya ji?' third: why didn't your school send over the transcripts? o_O thats quite irresponsible in my opinion (of course) anyway jay, i think you should take it easy. i dont really understand why you're getting anxiety from thinking about school. maybe you're pushing yourself too hard. just take a deep breath. try writing down your feelings in a journal or on a sheet of paper. list everything thats making you stress out and then think of ways to fix it. maybe do less of one thing and more of another. just let everything go in your mind, and take things slowly. maybe you're feeling like this because everything seems to be happening all at once. also set some time aside just for yourself. just find some time to kick back and relax and NOT think about everything thats happening. do a hobby like painting outdoors or reading or hanging out with friends. during that time, just stop worrying about everything and let it be your time only. you can handle things slowly. sorry my advice really sucks. hope things work out for you, jay D:
	you know you want to feed it D<


Angel	Mar 2 2007, 02:40 AM Post #9
C_Beyond ((chunsa oppa)) Posts: 10,993 Group: Admin Member #8 Joined: June 22, 2003	((SUPER DUPER ANGEL OPPA HUGS))!!! everyones advice is so much better than what i offered on AIM T__T u hang in there, cutie...we'll be here for support no matter what. you already know what to do, u simply need support, cuz u got that strong spirit and all ^_^. i hope things work out with your family, and schooling...get those lil details worked out, so that life can flow a lil easier for ya. like jiyoung said, talking to a friend is always good. and dont bottle things up either. we've always been here for you, and always will. stray strong, cutie. and maybe pray or something. oppa is here for venting too. (already armored thanks to jiyoung).



freshmint	Mar 2 2007, 03:40 AM Post #10
sinisterly bitter Posts: 4,959 Group: Admin Member #511 Joined: October 11, 2003	kick >_>
	you know you want to feed it D<


QUEEN A	Mar 2 2007, 01:46 PM Post #11
Close your eyes and run~ Posts: 5,039 Group: Advanced Members Member #6,181 Joined: December 19, 2004	Jiyoung thank you<33333 And your advice helped a lot :] So no worries :D Angel, thanks for listening yesterday even as I droned on and on. I'm sorry I left early. I was reading and fell asleep >< But I hope to talk to you again soon!! ^^
	_sometimes...it's better this way


Angel	Mar 4 2007, 01:02 AM Post #12
C_Beyond ((chunsa oppa)) Posts: 10,993 Group: Admin Member #8 Joined: June 22, 2003	aaawww...that means we both slept at the same time...thats either really cute, or really creepy lol i hope ur doing better now, cutie...keep me updated, k?



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