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Lament to the Fire; An oral journal from Adsero to the fire
Topic Started: Thu Sep 23, 2004 10:08 pm (208 Views)
Adsero
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Psychotic Pyro - Pyro Guild Master

(Note: Since Adsero cannot write, I have written this as her speaking her mind to the fire like one writes their mind to the pages of a journal.)

The darkness came again. I fear it is taking more and more of me. It doesn't seem right that I can remember the things I do; the scaring things that haunt my past. The blade looks so real, the blood so thick and dark, shines as though right in front of me. Memories so long past my mind should have pushed them away play in front of my eyes as though I was there once more. My atitude is changing. I know not whether it be the result of these vivid dreams or meerly my true nature shining through. I have become darker, eviler. I have always had evil and good friends but now I fear I stray too much from the light. This darkness threatens to consume me; to fade away the light until, even under the bright sun of day, all I can see is black. Still, through all the hardships and all the second guessing, I cannot fade away this smile. Perhaps one day I shall be all evil and yet smiling as though I hadn't noticed the changed. It pains me; the visions of my mother and foster father, the screams of dying children who's death I brought, the sharp smell of burning flesh. All the while the smile shines through. The question that has squeezed it's way in, flooding my mind with every tide of darkness and seeding doubt into my very core. The question I cannot answer and fear I never will.

Am I evil?
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