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| Stupid People! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 17 2005, 11:37 AM (367 Views) | |
| musicalmeg2004 | Jul 17 2005, 11:37 AM Post #1 |
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Karate Kickin Chipmunk
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EVER WONDER where we are headed... ....why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? ....why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? ....why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? ....why "abbreviated" is such a long word? ....why doctors call what they do "practice"? ....why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? ....why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashingnliquid is made with real lemons? ....why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? ....why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food? ....who tastes dog food when it has a "new &improved" flavour? ....why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? ....why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? ....why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ? ....why sheep don't shrink when it rains? ....why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? ....if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? ....why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe? AND... In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. -On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). -On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) -On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....) -On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). -On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! -On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) -On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) -On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head- colds off those forklifts.) -On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....) -On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) -On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) -On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!) -On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: -On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) |
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| CupidsVictim | Jul 19 2005, 02:16 AM Post #2 |
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Associate of Alan Land
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Wow... that's something to think about.... |
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| Adat | Jul 19 2005, 04:23 PM Post #3 |
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Alan Land Pirate
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LOL! ... I was thinking maybe I should use some of those things for a... uh.... .... an out to lunch person - NOT related to either of Mel or Rosindia though... They don't have ... out to lunch relatives...
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| CupidsVictim | Jul 19 2005, 09:12 PM Post #4 |
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Associate of Alan Land
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Dangerous Dogmen, Kevin! An out to lunch person? |
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| Adat | Jul 19 2005, 09:27 PM Post #5 |
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Alan Land Pirate
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*gives a strange stare* Uhh.... Oh! |
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| musicalmeg2004 | Jul 19 2005, 09:35 PM Post #6 |
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Karate Kickin Chipmunk
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um... very confused |
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| Adat | Jul 19 2005, 09:42 PM Post #7 |
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Alan Land Pirate
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Well, it's that I was thinking that I could have an.... insane... person for my website ... Then Cupid, I think, came up with a name for them, and then I was uncertain about it... What else needs clarification? EDIT: ... and now a few months shy of four years later, I can read this yet again and break out in laughter with Sven staring up at me, puring, but probably thinking I'm having a mental break down because I'm finding this just as funny as the very first time I read this in my Hotmail e-mail inbox (yes; I encountered this before you posted it here, Meg)... Oye; either it's super duper funny, I'm going loopy, or I really should invest in some other items to use while I sleep to increase the amount of time I can spend sleeping. Edited by Adat, Mar 5 2009, 10:37 PM.
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